How long did you wait to TTC?

[my2angels]

Well ladies, DH and I are taking the plunge next month and going to TTC again...but I just wanted to know what length of time did people here wait to ttc again after losing their angels?

It will be just past 4 months after losing Quinn for us, our OB/GYN had said right after losing her, that we could go home and try right away if we wanted to, as there was nothing wrong with me and they didn't find anything wrong with her. It was DH that wanted to wait until December to try again, and boy, oh boy am I ever glad that he made that decision. I am SO scared at the thought of trying again, but the yearning to be a mother is way more powerful than my fears.

My sister has said to me on numerous occasions that maybe I should wait until I'm ready....when will I ever be ready?? I think if I wait until I'm actually ready it will never happen. I mean, I know that no matter when I do get pg again, it will be an emotional and scary time.

Can anybody help me on this? Am I just being naive?

I think I'm going to go crazy if I sit here and think about it any longer ..TIA for responding!

HUGS,
Cass

[andrewsmommy]

Oh hon, (((HUG)))

This is such a big question and sadly only you hold the answer to if and when your ready. I can share what I have been through, but people heal emotionally at different rates. Someone might be ready long berfore another is.

For us, I didn't want to try again when we lost andrew. Then some where around 2 months after we lost him, I saw how hard dh was taking it all. He so wanted to be a daddy so I said lets do it again, knowing full well I wasn't ready. Well I was pregnant again 4 months after lossing andrew and dh and I both were scared and well I ended up having a m/c.

So we went on with life and one day it hit me. I WANTED ANOTHER BABY. So I told dh and we talked and and agreed we were both emotionally ready this time and well it was a little over 5 months since the m/c and 1yr and a month since we had lost andrew that I became pregnant.

To be honest I woundered if I would ever know if I was ready and you know what, I did. I also thought it wasn't going to happen, not after a m/c and a stillbirth, but it did. Of course I charted and temped the last two months before we got pregnant. I REALLY wanted it. You will always be scared to try again, if your not, your not human. And once you do get pregnant, it only gets worse But if it works it will all be worth it.

I would say three months out, is to early but that if my personal feelings of what I went through. When ever you decide, I'll be here to hold your hand through the ttc and the scary pregnancy part

[mommy2five]

Cass,
I have had both a m/c and a 2nd trimester loss. Both times my dr recommended waiting two cycles before we started ttc. That was all we waited. After the m/c it took us another 4 months to get pg. After we lost Lily, we were pg the first month that we tried.

I know it is an emotional roller coaster. Honestly for me, if I had stopped to think about it we probably never would have tried again so that was pretty much why we tried so soon. I can't say that I haven't been an emotional basket case through this pg. We take one day at a time and I set small goals. The first was to get through the first 12 weeks, then to get past 24 weeks when the baby moves up and off my cervix (we're not quite there yet). My next goal will be to get to 30 weeks when baby would be 'okay', then to get to 34 weeks when my dr would be comfortable with baby being born, after that is it pretty much whenever baby wants to come he/she can.

Hope I have been a little bit of help. Please know that we all know this is a big decision and we will be here to help support you when the time comes.

(((((hugs)))))

Christina

[ladylost]

Cass,

I'll tell you deciding to try again wasn't an easy decision. After losing Sydney I thought I was going to die of a broken heart. We waited until Aug. (4 mo.)before trying again. When I didn't get pregnant in Aug. I freaked out thinking OMG what if I can't get pregnant. Then Sept. rolled around and BAM!

I haven't had an easy day yet. First I felt this weird pain in my right side and I just knew this baby was tubal. Then I had some spotting (after sex) and I knew I had a mc. Happily, this is all in my head and actually quite normal after losing a child. I've decided I'd set myself some goals....

First, I'll get past the first trimester.

Second, I'll somehow get the courage to drag myself into the stage II u/s without any help. (This is where we found out Sydney had passed away) I set the appt. today for Jan 10th.

If everything is okay by this point I think I'll be okay. I have so long to go and I won't lie to you I'm very scared. I find myself looking at the new u/s pictures and praying this baby will make it. I often ask myself am I really ready to do this again? I can't tell you when is a good time. Just know that there is a lot of support waiting for you when you decide to try again.

Best of luck,
Fran

[Shar]

Cass, ((HUGS)) been thinking of you today..
Eric and I started TTC right away (the next month) after loosing MarieAnne... only b/c it took us 10 years to get pg with her. We knew it was gonna be a long time before we were ACTUALLY gonna BE pg again, so figured might as well start that journey. I know that I wasn't ready the first few months... but being 'close' to DH in that way was a sort of healing time for me.

Good luck. I know that the emotions of wanting a child of yoru own can be overwhelming at times, but it's good to wait a while before TTC, so your hubby was good at setting a time frame.

GOOD LUCK,





MarieAnne Elizabeth
~18 August 2004~
Born 5:20 am
Died 6:40 am
Born at 20weeks 5 days


Born too early, gone to fast,
But our love is strong,
And our memories will last.

[my2angels]

Thanks ladies! I know that I am ready to try again, I'm just so scared of going through another loss. My yearning to be a mother has kicked in overdrive, I think!

I think I will need all of the support and hand holding that I can get when I am pg again! Thanks for the support!

HUGS,
Cass

[walkersmommy]

My dh and I waited for a year...Walker was born in Sept of 03 and we started ttc in September of 04...It was a big decision but i knew i was ready...but even as ready as I was, my pg with Miranda was VERY hard, VERY emotinal. There wasnt a day that went by that i want terrified of losing her, but my midwifew was amazing. I think that is KEY your dr has to be supportive of your fears and understand you cant help obsessing about this new baby's health and well being!!!

Good Luck to you..Email me if you want or need anything [e-mail]

jessica

[mamakelky]

DH and I waited 4 months, Now our Hannah is 4 1/2 months old. The thing you should remember is that any future pregnancy is going to be very nerve wracking. Be sure you are emotionally ready. Good Luck to you, Kelly.

[kaydensmommy]

My dh and I started ttc about 2 months after Kaydens death. It took us 3 months to get pg. I wanted to get pg asap so I could have somthing to look forward to. Now lookin back Colton's pg was so stressful that I dont think I could have emotionally handled another pg any sooner. I had a very hard time bonding with him and tried to pretend I wasnt pg again so that if something happened It wouldnt hurt so much. Even after Colton was born I had a little trouble bonding. The decision is yours. Listen to your heart. Being pg after a loss is such a hard journey.

[kaha]

We waited 3 cycles which was 4 months actually because my cycles are soooo long. First try did not work out and it was so devastating! Also 2 weeks time from ovu till af showed up was very difficult, I just felt so bad in my soul for no apparent reason, because I had no reason to suspect I would not get pregnant that time. It is all so emotional! This month it got better, I am still anxious but I do not concentrate on possible pregnancy that much. Now it is 9 dpo so hard time is approaching. My worst fear is I am infertile now, my boobs are not sore before af as they used to be and af comes not at 14 dpo but 11 or 12 dpo. It really worries me.
For me, on one side fear gets stronger with time and somehow I feel less and less ready to be pregnant again, but on the other I feel more ready to accept a different baby, I am more aware it will be a completly different story and this brings peace. I do not know if this makes sense

[hunterandbethsmom]

Cass,
Josh and I waited a year after we lost Hunter to ttc again. It was a reluctant decision on his part, since he was NOT wanting to go through all that again. We got pregnant immediately, and the pregnancy was un-eventful up until 7 months...then the HTN, and the pre-eclampsia.
After losing Beth, we made the decision...based on the MD advice, and our own hearts, not to try again. I had a tubal...so my ttc days are over.
My only advice is to do it when YOU are ready, and your OBGYN says that you are PHYSICALLY ready...
Lots of luck and baby dust to you!

[momtochance]

Cass,

Brad and I are planning to ttc again in December. We are definately scared. But like you said when will we ever be ready. Altough we will have to do artificial insemination and fertility medication in order to get pregnant. I have faith that things will work out okay (at least that is how I feel today).

I look forward to ttc'ing together. You will be in my prayers.