I finally went to go and put his things away.

[campbellsmommy]

I had this beautiful chest made and his name carved into the top of it. I was going to put his little bear in there, and the scrapbook i have been working on, all his blankets, and the teddy bear i knitted for him. So many clothes.. And the wern't there. I spent the better part of 2 days looking for my sons things. My husband has been out of town for 2 weeks and i had to call and ask him where my campbells things were.

He sent them to his mother... WTF? he says so im not reminded of them. But if i want them back i should just call her up and ask.. ummm Why am i asking for my sons things..

You know it was hard enough to even open those d**n drawers, but now i have to go searching for things? really i mean come on. He says its no big deal, and doesn't understand why im "pissy" with him.

Jess

[FourSweetPeas]

I'm so sorry. Your right, it is so hard to even look and touch the earthly things we bought for our babies. The decision on what to do with them should be yours and yours alone. The greatest gift my DH gave me was letting me decide where when and how i would go through Aidan's things. His room remained intact for one year.

I think alot of men just don't understand we NEED to feel and touch and CRY to work through the loss and hurt. We need the reminders that are babies existed. We have nothing else to show.

I'm sure your DH was only trying to help in a manly way. It's hard for them to see us so blue and they want to fix us. Maybe he should be the one to get Campbell's things back? I know I would be very uncomfortable asking my MIL when you are already feeling so lost and vulnerable.

Hoping this gets resolved quickly and without more hurt.

[ibarbie]

The chest sounds lovely.

I know he was "lookingout" for you, but - dang - hand over the frying pan! I'm a gonna whack him!

I am so sorry he did that. It must have been hard. {{{HUGS}}}

[ladylost]

You are right! You shouldn't have to ask your MIL for anything back. They should have been found where you last left them. I think often times men aren't thinking of whats best for us but whats best for them. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Pfft if only things really worked like that.

Don't be pissy, sweetie. Be honest. Let him know that you want those things back and because he sent them away it's his job to get them back. Not yours! I'm sure he didn't mean any harm and I'm sure he would be willing to do that for you.

This subject is untouched here at my house. After we lost our daughter for 1 month I left everything I had from the hospital on our kitchen table. I went downstairs everyday making sure nothing was touched. I would have killed my dh if he moved one thing. LoL Thankfully for him he didn't. Since then I've moved it all on top of my fridge. Out of respect for him I don't pull the box down and look inside while he's here. I've seen his face change from happy to sad everytime I cry. I don't want to force my sadness on him. I just want my time to love the precious daughter that was taken away to soon.

Goodluck to you.

[catherine]

So you're not reminded? Does he think it will slip your mind that you've got a dead child? If you see the things you'll suddenly say, "Oh, that's right, I have a dead baby!"

I think you should ask your husband to undo what he did. Tell him HE should call his mother and ask for them back.

[hunterandbethsmom]

Honey, I am so sorry. I think that your husband had good intentions, but you know as well as I do, that sometimes our husbands just screw up! Plain and simple! They think they have a great idea, and it really isn't...lol. I know my husband has said and done some things that I can't imagine what he was thinking, but then I realize that he was thinking of me with good intentions when he did them. I would simply explain to your husband that there isn't a need to move his things, since you don't need a constant reminder...there is one in your heart that can never be moved.
Try and take it easy on him, after all, he is just a man....