Post by my2angels on Nov 1, 2005 23:44:43 GMT -5
Hey gals,
The other night I spent over an hour crying when I realized that Quinn should be in my arms, filling them with her perfect little body, not leaving them empty
It was like someone slapped me upside the head and said duh, Cass, you should be tired, cranky, and most definitely not in this mental anguish...you should be the happiest woman in the world.
I think it was my best friends' sister having her baby girl ( who was due on the same date) that set me off. This is the girl that decided she couldn't nip her pot - smoking habit at 6 months pg ...so now she has a perfect little baby girl and I have an angel. Where is the justice?? UGH, makes me soooo mad. So now, when I hear the latest update as to how her baby is doing, I will do nothing but think about how Quinn would be doing the same things.
Then to top it all off, I feel as though I can't really talk to my friends about this all anymore. Maybe it's just me, but I get the impression that they feel that I should be "over it". So now, I only really talk to my DH and my sister... I had to go for an Echocardiogram and ended crying when the tech said that it would be like a baby's u/s and hear the hb. I told my mom about me crying and she said " God, Cass, what are we going to do with you???"...so that shattered any hopes of being able to talk with my mom and have her understand.
I just feel so sad, mad, frustrated and scared all at the same time now. I had to get this off my chest, as I know you will understand..
HUGS,
Cass
The other night I spent over an hour crying when I realized that Quinn should be in my arms, filling them with her perfect little body, not leaving them empty
It was like someone slapped me upside the head and said duh, Cass, you should be tired, cranky, and most definitely not in this mental anguish...you should be the happiest woman in the world.
I think it was my best friends' sister having her baby girl ( who was due on the same date) that set me off. This is the girl that decided she couldn't nip her pot - smoking habit at 6 months pg ...so now she has a perfect little baby girl and I have an angel. Where is the justice?? UGH, makes me soooo mad. So now, when I hear the latest update as to how her baby is doing, I will do nothing but think about how Quinn would be doing the same things.
Then to top it all off, I feel as though I can't really talk to my friends about this all anymore. Maybe it's just me, but I get the impression that they feel that I should be "over it". So now, I only really talk to my DH and my sister... I had to go for an Echocardiogram and ended crying when the tech said that it would be like a baby's u/s and hear the hb. I told my mom about me crying and she said " God, Cass, what are we going to do with you???"...so that shattered any hopes of being able to talk with my mom and have her understand.
I just feel so sad, mad, frustrated and scared all at the same time now. I had to get this off my chest, as I know you will understand..
HUGS,
Cass