Thx Pam

[montanabkc]

Hi Pam thx so much for responding to my post. It's just gotten to the point as many of you know that people think you should be "over this" ha ha.That it's so nice to talk to someone who actually understands what we're going through.I do have good people in my life,but noone wants to talk about my son Chris.Everything gets quiet and incomfortable.So I've learned to be quiet about him and it's killing me.Do you feel this too?

[pamela]

Hi Again Montanta,

I do know again what you mean and how you feel. Mostly I don't talk a lot about Michael except here at Sg. I don't really have many regular friends that I talk with. I work two jobs so that is where my socialization comes from. Sadly most of my true friends are right here at Sg. And even though I have never physically met anyone from here, I feel closer to some of the people here than I have ever felt to any friends. I have been here for 3 years and have gotten to know some really wonderful. compassionate people who have held me up many times when I didn't think it was possible to go on.

I don't think that you should stop talking about Chris even if it makes everyone else uncomfortable, I think sometimes that others don't say anything because they don't know what to say. It is easy for us to think that they don't want to hear us. I do think though that in time if we keep bring our children up they will realize that we want to talk about them.

AS I said before come here...talk to us till you can't talk anymore. We are very good listeners with big hearts.

Peace to you Montana.

Pam

[dianan]

Hi Montana:
I agree with Pam. Please don't ever stop talking about Chris, even if it does make the ones around you uncomfortable. I talk about my Zach all the time. It helps me keep him alive here with me. And yes, people do get quiet and don't know what to say, but my true friends, will join in on the remember when comments and it helps us all. Keep talking about your baby.
diana

[Corinne]

Hey Montana...Talk away....we love to hear about each others children

[yukonjake]

It's kind of sad, but your friends, at least those that you physically interact with, know, on an intellectual level, what you have lost and how you feel, but they don't and can't feel it down low, in the gut, where it lives.

Because they cannot feel it the way you do, they feel squeamish when Chris comes up. They may be afraid that you are going to break down. They may fear the tears and their inability to cope with them.

We, perfect strangers in your physical world (and me, who has never "met" you online before) can relate to you in ways that your physical friends, maybe even your brothers and sisters cannot.

Talk about Chris. Lord knows that I bend enough ears hear about my Timmer. And every one is ok with that.

[missingjason]

(((Hugs))) we're with ya here, we know exactly where you are coming from and it ain't fun