Holidays approaching

[dianan]

These will be my first holidays without Zach. I already feel the dread, if it wasn't for the girls and the grandchildren, I wouldn't even have holidays this year. Those of you that have done this, please share any helpful hints and ideas that helped you survive those first holidays. I know this is going to be horrible and I know I have to do it. I just wonder how others have managed.
thanks
love to all
diana

[missingjason]

I know, holidays are very difficult, but we must go on for our other children and grandchildren. What I started last year I plan to do again. I'll buy a home helium air machine and some balloons. Everybody will write messages to our beloved Jason, put them into the balloons, blow them up and send them off to heaven, with yells of "We miss you Jason". Its not much but it helps.

Wishing your holidays to be gentle

[Teeny's Mom]

I still want to run away for the holidays. Ally passed away 3 days before Thanksgiving. She loved parties and holidays. Last year we kept it to a minimum. We did not get the decorations down but bought new ones. It was good for us because we were so in shock as it was. We couldn't bear seeing the things that she loved to play with from Thanksgiving until I made her put them on the tree. She had so much fun lining all the ornaments up and making a big train.
This year we are going to a concert on Thanksgiving and to the in-laws for Christmas. I am not sure how that will be.
Go with your gut. You will get through the days, you just may need to pace yourself. Allow a way for you to get away from everyone if you need to, no questions asked. The balloons sound great! Start something new.

[dianan]

Thank you both for your wonderful, kind information. The balloons do sound good and Cindee what you are doing sounds good too. Thank you

[pamela]

DIana,

I am so sorry that you have to go through all these first...they are so hard.

Diana, many people start new traditions because its so hard to do the things we used to do. Our lives have changed, we can't expect things to be trhe same as they once were. Doing things differently sometimes help . I wish you luck.

Take care,
pam

[Dougsmom]

Diana,

I have found planning to be the key. It gives the mind focus and when you accomplish something helps with the coping.

As Doug's death date is at the beginning of December, I use that day to start decorations at the cemetery. The last two years, and also planning for this year, I bring a plastic box filled with plastic ball ornaments, which I have tied a length of ribbon on, and colored paint pens. We write a message on a few and tie them to the palm trees, then as others come by to visit they fill one out and hang it as well. Within a few days, the trees look very festive!

Last year I mentioned to one of Doug's friends I wanted to find solar or battery operated Christmas lights. She found some and decorated the shrubs and added a few other light up ornaments! It was such a surprise for us- bittersweet as it was - just that she still cared enough for Doug to do this for us.

This year I am reusing as much as possible from last year, but I have also bought a blue gazing ball on an engraved stand. In a few weeks I will get out the ribbon and tie them to the balls. Just having this planning to do has made this time easier to get through.

Leslie

[joan]

(((((Diana)))))

Tough times - no way to avoid the pain, but including your child in some way in the holiday will help, I think - others have made good suggestions and even a candle helps. I think you do what you have to to survive - as much or as little.

((((((hugs))))))


Joan