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Post by vsnelson on Aug 30, 2007 10:06:07 GMT -5
My mother was very close to my little Steven and so I showed her this site but since there isn't a group for grandparents that are grieving she didn't feel comfortable joining. I know that this site has helped me and would like for her to have a place to go to that would help her deal with the pain as well. Also she needs to talk to other people (hopefully grandparents) that have gone through what she is and can understand how a grandparent feels when they've lost they're precious grandchild. Please lets get one started for them.
Venus
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Post by Krista on Aug 30, 2007 13:16:39 GMT -5
I think that's a good idea.  |
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Post by mommyof6oneangel on Sept 2, 2007 12:19:38 GMT -5
Great idea. My mom would love that as well.
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Post by Rose on Sept 3, 2007 8:33:25 GMT -5
I think this is a wonderful idea. I have a feeling you will find more and more people come here but don't post because they don't feel like they can relate anyone on the boards.
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Post by melodyg on Sept 3, 2007 17:18:59 GMT -5
I think it would be a good idea to have a board for others who are impacted by the loss of a child... maybe not limited to grandparents. I do know we have had grandmothers on here before, and concerned friends too... but that is not the norm and I do agree there may be many reading who are not posting.
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Post by judiann on Sept 3, 2007 21:02:50 GMT -5
I think it would be surprising how many of us "would be" or are grandmothers...... My oldest daughter lost 2 babies at around 17-19 wks.....one lived for 55 minutes & I've never told that they were adopting twins from a 16 yr old......her family threw her out when she got preg. the 2nd time...... but she was killed in an auto accident....T-boned at a stop sign. The mother died very soon, the baby boy did not survive for long..... but they saved the baby girl, only because the boy was in front of her  ....... The parents of this 16 year old tossed her to the streets.....wanted NOTHING to do with her......until she died. They have the baby that survived........ Maybe a board for us Grandparents.......would be an idea to think about?? I often wonder how others like us feel......& do we really want to share ourselves with OUR Parents?? It really doesn't seem to matter to mine that their Only Grandson died......but then, you all know how my family is...... judiann |
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Post by averysmom on Sept 3, 2007 21:24:35 GMT -5
I'm really torn on this. I loved SG when dealing with my loss because it was annonymous. My family didn't "get" it and really, I can't blame them. I hit a lot of my feelings from them. That said, if I wasn't a member here and my mom wanted a place to go to talk about things, it would be great.
I think in the case of many families...they wouldn't be comfortable with having a parent or a daughter here to read everything they wrote.
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Post by melodyg on Sept 3, 2007 22:46:11 GMT -5
I do have to agree with Jill... I would not feel comfortable having another member of my family here (hey, half the time after my m/c my posts were about how none of them seemed to be affected). But I guess I was thinking more of the members I have seen who were grandmothers or other family members having a place to post. I think maybe the "Reaching Out" board was meant for this somewhat? (but I'm not really sure what that board is for!).
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Post by judiann on Sept 3, 2007 23:28:40 GMT -5
Sometimes.......I think it's so hard to reach out to those that truly Love us, tho their ways are so different then ours.... Honestly, I would be Very Upset .....if my mom posted or read....MY PERSONAL SPACE. It's Mine & altho I share with a thousand people or so  ......it's still MY PLACE...... ONLY.I don't want my Family here.......they don't belong here & I don't want to share my feelings with any of them cause they don't "get it".......except for "lostnana" on LOYC. But we can Be there for her & any others that need us.......the Reach Out board is good but....all any of the "granny's" have to do........let us know you need us. We'll be right here....... Theres so very few posts about how Our Mothers feel {or felt} about losing their grandchild.......I often wonder what effect it had on them??? judiann |
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Post by vsnelson on Sept 4, 2007 0:40:43 GMT -5
Judiann,
I know that the affect of losing her grandson has been horrible on my mother, she is trying so hard to be strong for me and yet I know she is blaming herself for his death since she was there the day he died. At times she can't even talk about him without crying, the pain and guilt she is feeling is tearing her up and she doesn't want to talk to me about it because she wants to help me. So I wanted this board started up so she, and other grandparents, would have a place for THEM too. I know that at times it seems like his grandparents don't care but I know they are just putting up a front to be strong for us parents and if they could find other grandparents to talk to maybe they could find the support we have found.
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Post by judiann on Sept 4, 2007 2:21:55 GMT -5
Dear One,
I agree with you.
Some of us have parents that are so devastated by the loss of their Grandchild......many of us don't. I will never understand that one.....
Your loss is so new & raw....... It's so hard to stand by & watch Your child go thru such horrible pain, knowing theres nothing you can say or do to make it better......when you were litttle we could kiss away your boo-boo's......"This" we can't.
I never felt so helpless in my life as I did, when my daughter lost her 1st baby.......no words, nothing helped, but she was a thousand miles away & didn't want any comfort from me.....
Since your Mom is there with you......I'm sure that Love & ((((hugs)))) will help get you both thru these awful days ahead of you.
If she needs a good ear or a shoulder.....I'm here.
Much Love,
judiann
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Post by Rose on Sept 7, 2007 16:45:56 GMT -5
And you have to realize, that some people who have endured child loss do not come here. My sister gave birth to a stillborn baby girl last year. She has not come to Silent Grief. She just hasn't needed the support. She even met Clara last year and has read her book, but she has not come here. On the other hand, I think my mother comes here every day. She needs the support. She misses Elise terribly. . . and even thinks of friends who have passed away as up in heaven holding HER granddaughter. But she doesn't post. She doesn't feel comfortable doing it.
So there are two sides to this situation. And a tough one it is.
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Post by dudefeb9 on Sept 26, 2007 1:37:59 GMT -5
I THINK ITS GREAT...BUT THEY NEED TO STAY ON THAT BOARD....MAYBE THEY SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED ACCESS TO THE OTHERS....SO WE CAN KEEP OUT TALKS PRIVATE!!!! I THINK ITS GREAT THOUGH!!
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Post by redbarron980 on Sept 26, 2007 18:41:25 GMT -5
NO!
I for one would not be interested in coming back knowing there was a chance that my mother or mother-in-law were on here posting about MY baby! They can go anywhere on the net to talk to people, they don't have to be here!
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......it's still MY PLACE......ONLY.
