Second Trimester Loss

[prettyfeet83]

I actually think that is a really good suggestion. That second trimester has to be hard. Sometimes it's not actually termed a stillbirth at that point, but the loss must be so much deeper when carrying a child for 17 weeks, as opposed to 6 or 7. Don't get me wrong, I am not trivilazing early m/c because I had them myself, but carrying a baby in the second trimester is often twice as long as some of the ones who had early losses. While the S/B board isn't exactly for them, neither is the IHAM. I saw "two thumbs up" to second trimester loss board!

[teacher4]

As someone who has lost three babies in the 2nd trimester, I have felt that I am in the 'middle', technically not on either board. I do want to say though that the women on both boards have welcomed me with open arms, and I don't think it has been an issue. I think that we have gone through 'unique' experiences though which might mean another board is good. On the other hand, we might be spreading people too thin...

I would support it...but I don't know if it would work.
Dominique

[walkersmommy]

I agree with Domnique, seems like there is a good nitch right now, and not sure how it would go to switch it up..But I will follow just to see!!

Good Luck

Jessica

[mrsj]

It sounds like an excellent idea...if only there were more people on the site. I could imagine that it must be very hard for someone who has had a loss in the 2nd trimester before 20 weeks...I would guess that it doesn't feel like a miscarriage at all but then the stillbirth board is specific to losses 20+ weeks.

The only problem is the existing loss boards are already kind of slow so I would be concerned that a new board with a new title wouldn't give the women that post there the attention and support they need. I've actually thought at times it would be beneficial to consolidate IHAM with MTOM...I started on MTOM but never could see that there were so many differences between myself and women who have had 1 loss to the point that the boards should be divided. I'm not suggesting the boards be merged...it's not my call...just thinking out loud here. I remember reading a remark from someone who had posted to another board because she rather disappointed in the lack of attention on MTOM...I've found that to be true also sometimes.

[becca]

I agree that 2nd trimester losses must be difficult. However, it would have been just as difficult for me to lose a child at any point in the pg because of what I believe about when life begins, etc.

Just food for thought ... I can't remember where I found it, but way back in 2000-2001 I found a piece of Illinois law that would have supported me being allowed bereavement days when I had my ectopic pg (at about 8 wks gestation). But, when I found this information, it was way too late to take advantage of it through my employer. The time had been logged as sick days months ago by my employer. It would have been a nasty fight to get five days, so I let it go. My point in sharing this is that a loss of a baby at any point in gestation is terrible ... it is loss of life ... it is a death to be grieved and a live to be celebrated. There is no time or trimester that is easier than another. Now, I am sure there is someone out there would would say they had 1st and 2nd trimester losses and that the 2nd trimester loss for them was harder. Okay, for that person it was harder. But, in all, it's not something that needs to be compared.

I LOVE that the stillbirth and miscarriage boards have both opened their arms and hearts to ladies with 2nd trimester loss. I have also noticed that those experiencing ectopic pg are welcomed on the other loss boards. That, to me, is an awesome testimony of God's purpose for this community.

Becca

[princess275]

I agree too.. I lost my little girl at 19 weeks...she wasnt class as a stillborn because she wasnt above 20 weeks...but i still gave birth to her..she looked like a normal little girl... I was sure where to go after losing SAMANTHA but i was invited onto the stillorn board..i will be forever grateful for that...

Love Di

[Clara Hinton]

Dear SG Family,

I have thought about a board for second trimester loss, but at this point I am still in the "thinking" stage.

I, like many others, was caught in the inbetween stage on some of my losses. I lost one baby at 14 weeks......and by today's method of figuring dates, that would be 16 weeks. I had a stillborn baby boy, also, but he died one week short of being termed a stillborn by the state of PA, therefore he did not require a funeral and was not medically called a "stillborn".

I have used both the m/c and stillbirth boards for my losses.

Right now, I am going to keep the boards as they are and wait to see if our community grows to a point of needing to separate the miscarriage boards.

Thank you so much for your suggestions. PLEASE continue to send them. I take every suggestion seriously, and even though I might not use your suggestion today, that doesn't mean that I won't use it in another month or so.

Keep the ideas coming!

Love,
Clara

[goosey731]

I just saw this. I was almost 18 weeks along when I lost Bayley, but the IHAM board was my lifesaver. I never felt out of place because we were all grieving for the babies we had lost. I think that those who experienced a similar situation are very good about finding and supporting each other on the IHAM board while providing support to those who had a different experience. So, I guess I would worry that we would be spread too thinly and maybe would miss out on some of the remarkable support from others who had a different experience.