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Post by Mommy2amazingGrace on Mar 30, 2006 1:47:06 GMT -5
i'm wondering something and I don't know how to word it quite right, but here it goes. I'm technically a single "mom" since my bf left me when I lost our child. Even though I don't have any physical children to speak of, would this forum be for someone like me? I often find it quite diffifult to read how other's dh's are helping them through their loss, and I have no one. Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies on the IHAM board, and I wouldn't trade any of them, but I was just wondering if this would be somewhere I could go when it gets overwhelming reading about the great DH's there are? Does this sound bad, or like whining? I just wanted to know...Either way, like I said earlier, I love the idea of a Single mom's board.
Clara, there are not enough words to express my gratitude towards you for starting this wonderful life altering place. I often find it my saving grace and I don't honestly know how I would have survived my loss without all of the loving and wonderful ladies I found here at SG. Not to sound like a broken record, but you REALLY ROCK! You are more like an angel than anything else, as i'm sure everyone else would agree with me when I say that.
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em
New Member
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Post by em on Mar 30, 2006 7:29:13 GMT -5
Clara, I've been thinking about how you could word the new thread. I'd like to suggest that you use something similar to all the other threads, but make is known that it is one for any single parents after any loss. Such as Single Parents after Loss. So that even single fathers know they too are welcome, and that it is for single parents after any sort of loss. Since it seems that there are several of us who have been through many different types of loss be it miscarriage, stillbirth, loss of a young child...etc. This is just my suggestion, but wanted to share.
mommytoamazinggrace- I feel like you too are a single parent, in the grieving process especially it is important to feel like you can share, be it with a DH if you have one, or another person who has been there. I didn't have a DH and too found it hard to read how other moms DHs were supporting them. Then here I was alone with no one to listen. Please know that you too should feel comfortable posting on soon to be single parent board. Also please know that you can PM me anytime you'd like to chat.
Hugs, Em
Thanks, Em
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Post by heidi on Mar 30, 2006 13:13:10 GMT -5
I think it's wonderful there will be a board for single parents. I had a thought I wanted to share. Be aware that not all dh's are supportive and helpful after a loss. My dh actually added to my grief in some ways. So don't feel like there will be no one on IHAM who can relate to feelings of loneliness, okay? Hugs.
Heidi
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Post by heidiforever on Mar 31, 2006 20:32:44 GMT -5
I do believe this will absolutely be single parents even with no living children. If your grandma dies, she's still your grandma, and you her grandchild. If you are a mommy and lose your child, that is still your child, and you, your childs mommy! I have lost both of my kids, and I am still the best mommy in the world!
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Post by Mommy2amazingGrace on Apr 1, 2006 11:38:16 GMT -5
EM, Thanks a million. I'll be looking for you!
Heidiforever, I often don't feel like a mother, because I don't have any living children. It's hard when strangers ask you if you have children. I feel like I don't know what to say or how to explain it to them.
I am looking forward to the Single Parents board. I understand that not all DH's are supportive and I wish that for those with DH's, they would be. But sometimes I just can't look at the posts of those with them stating that they are wonderful, when my bf didn't stick around long enough to help me grieve.
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Post by redeftgirl on Apr 2, 2006 12:42:05 GMT -5
I started posting on the old SG boards as a single PAM and boy did I feel like an outcast. I moved over to MAM as a single mommy. I always felt out of place. Now I am married and have another child, but I still think I could offer support to a single parent who has expierenced loss. I think this board would be a wonderful idea. Some of the emotions of a m/c are different when you aren't married. And the pg was a oops in the first place. The standard "your young, you can try again" just really upset me. I knew I would never "TRY" after the m/c. Also alot of people felt like I should be happy to have m/c the unplanned pg. I once had a friend tell me I was like Teflon and that nothing sticks. I was always finding myself in trouble and then getting out of it. Her example of this was my pg that ending in m/c. From her point of view I was lucky. This was so painful. But no one really understood how I could grieve an unplanned pg ending. Not sure if this makes sense. But I do think this board would be valuable.
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Post by heidiforever on Apr 12, 2006 21:38:55 GMT -5
EM, Thanks a million. I'll be looking for you! Heidiforever, I often don't feel like a mother, because I don't have any living children. It's hard when strangers ask you if you have children. I feel like I don't know what to say or how to explain it to them. I am looking forward to the Single Parents board. I understand that not all DH's are supportive and I wish that for those with DH's, they would be. But sometimes I just can't look at the posts of those with them stating that they are wonderful, when my bf didn't stick around long enough to help me grieve. Believe me, I completely understand that! Neither of my children are living, but my answer is always 2. I know it's hard, I have to deal with it every day, too. ((((((((((hug))))))))))
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