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Post by Clara Hinton on Feb 27, 2006 0:11:41 GMT -5
I'm so sorry that I didn't respond to this question/suggestion sooner. Thanks so much for your understanding.
I have kept a file on suggestions for new threads, and when we reach a certain number of requests for a particular topic, then Joe (our Programmer) and I try to come to a decision that is one that will help serve the growing needs of SG.
I have not had many requests for a thread only for single parents, although I have often thought about addressing this issue. When I read through posts, I often see the issues that are specific to single parents when going through loss and/or raising other children. The grief also becomes a different kind of grief......lacking the support of a spouse.
Maybe others would like to give some feedback on this particular suggestion. If so, I am asking the members of SG to let me know your feelings on the need for such a board.
Thank you.
Love, Clara
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Post by mistygrl70 on Feb 27, 2006 22:13:16 GMT -5
I think this would be a wonderful thread for sg. Yes, grief is a tough road for everyone married or not.. however when your "single" going through something so tramatic.. it's difficult to feel anyone 'truly' understands you when their dh/significant other is by their side.
Although I was not single nor became that way after my loss, I almost did. I am understanding to the need for this type of board for sg.
I think this would be a wonderful addition to the ever so growing sg family... as sad as it is....
Thank you again Clara and Joe for all the countless hours.. mind work.. worry.. care and concern you put into this board and us members. I know I speak for many when I say there have been some difficult times I've been faced with that I probably wouldn't have gotten through if it wasn't for the members of sg..and all the support they provide.. no matter what the issue..
Thank you for making it possible for us to be here for each other...and you being here for US.
God Bless,
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Post by dkh0728 on Feb 28, 2006 17:40:18 GMT -5
I too think this would be a great assest to the site. It is not an easy thing going it alone, I have a friend who lost a baby and was single and she felt like she had no where to turn, I of course told her about silent grief but she too had the same feeling that no one could relate to her being a single mom alone. I highly reccommend the idea. Thanks Clara for all you do for us.
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Post by heidiforever on Mar 5, 2006 22:13:13 GMT -5
I agree, this would be a great place for us single mom's to find our "place"! My first loss I stayed with my dh, after my daughter was born I left him, then he killed her and now I am a "single" mom again in the sense that I am alone through all this, in my immediate home. I think it's great when we feel like we can branch out to the other forums, rather than being an avid poster in just one-we meet more people, which is so important to us all. You're doing a fabulous job, and it is so much appreciated by us all! Thank you so much for all that you do, and if you ever need any help moderating forums, I would be more than happy to give it a go!
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brandonsmom
Junior Member
Brandon 11/09/1984 - 07/09/2005
Posts: 65
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Post by brandonsmom on Mar 10, 2006 14:21:01 GMT -5
I also would like to see a section for single parents. It's been eight months since Brandon died, and I'm going through all of this alone. It would be nice to talk to other single parents that have lost a child.
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Post by ginamc on Mar 10, 2006 19:32:26 GMT -5
I vote "yes" on this. I love talking to everybody, but it would be nice to hear problems and solutions of other single parents. We are so alone and do face some different situations and feelings about grief and everyday stuff, too. Thanks for bringing this up! Love, Gina
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Post by wuvmyangel93 on Mar 10, 2006 19:50:40 GMT -5
yes I think it would be a wonderful forum
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Post by Diana B612 on Mar 11, 2006 0:47:04 GMT -5
Clara, I first of all, as someone with nowhere else to turn, want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this site. yes I think it would be a wonderful forum especially since most on sg are religious and kinda disapprove of those of us that are single with children I haven't necessarily encountered that here ... that or you ladies don't say it to my face ... That would suprise me if you did encounter disapproval though, real Christians aren't supposed to be judgemental and hateful. But even having an SO (my angel baby's father), I feel a difference between what I go through and what a married woman goes through. There are just stresses on a serious relationship that has yet to reach marriage that are not there in a marriage, in addition to the loss stress. The grief is different. Not to mention that in the real world, we get treated like pariahs who should be happy our children died, because being single how dare we even want children in the first place. I can't even find a therapist who will acknowledge my loss and grief, and I live in the psychosis capital of the world. Single moms' loss is less acknowledged. People are so quick to tell us we're not even moms. Which is stupid. Society treats premarital sex as OK, but premarital pregnancy (a consequence of the hunky-dory premarital sex) as a mortal sin. It's odd.
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em
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by em on Mar 11, 2006 15:06:46 GMT -5
Clara,
Personally I feel that it would be great if SG went on to having a single parent board. Given my situation I feel that it would be easier and beneficial to have a board where I can address all the things that go on knowing that someone will actually be able to relate or understand. It was easier being pregnant and relating to the other pregnant women. Now my son is here, and he's a preemie he wasn't due until May 9th. I'd love to have other moms out there who are facing things alone without the support of a spouse, and also have grieved over the loss of a child as well. Being a single mom is hard work, and I am scared to death everyday seeing my son hooked up to monitors, feeding tubes, and all sorts of other things knowing I am in this alone. It would be amazing to know there are other single moms to talk to. Just to share those feelings of isolation, lonliness, and fear with. And of course share the accomplishments with as well. All of the women on here have been a great support for me over the past year, from being pregnant with twins due to being raped and losing them last Feb. to finding out I was pregnant again. I honestly am not sure where I would be without the women here. They are wonderful sisters and amazing testaments of God's love. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating a site that really brings women together during some of the hardest times of our lives. Thank You!!! Love and Hugs, Em
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Post by heidiforever on Mar 11, 2006 21:35:34 GMT -5
I also haven't heard anything about people on here disapproving of me for being a single mom, I can't imagine I would come back if I encountered that. I'm really sorry for anyone who has encountered that. I'm also religious. Sorry, just wanted to out that out there!
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Post by Mommy2amazingGrace on Mar 26, 2006 13:48:20 GMT -5
I think that this is a wonderful suggestion. I became single the day I m/c my baby and it's been so hard since then to grieve. I don't have a man to lean on and this board is the only place I have. It's hard sometimes to listen to the girls talk about how their DH's help them grieve and know that my boyfriend did not stick around long enough to help anything. I think that it would be a wonderful idea.
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Post by mistygrl70 on Mar 27, 2006 11:15:31 GMT -5
I just wanted to add that I haven't found any type of disapproval over single parenting. . I had children out of wedlock and ended up single a long time.
I've never encountered anything like that here on sg.
Best wishes,
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Post by Clara Hinton on Mar 29, 2006 20:04:34 GMT -5
To those of you who responded to the request for a special board for "single moms": I have read through your comments, and have taken each comment to heart. As the Administrator of these message boards, I see a very real need to have a special section just for single moms/parents just from the number of requests I have received. Raising a child alone is no easy task and I have taken your comments very seriously. There are emotional issues, financial issues, and even issues of society to deal with as a single parent that I'm sure you all feel a need to discuss. Please give me a couple of days to collect my thoughts on how to word this particular board........my work schedule is really tight throughout the weekend, but I will try to have this board up and running by next week. (If I don't........you all can bombard me with reminders until I get it completed! ) Thank you for you input. It continues to be my prayer that we will expand the support given on SG so that more parents can receive the kind of help they need during times of grief and loss. Love, Clara
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Post by heidiforever on Mar 29, 2006 21:11:55 GMT -5
Clara, you just rock, you know that?! (((((hug)))))
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em
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by em on Mar 30, 2006 0:33:01 GMT -5
Clara,
Thank you for listening to all of the responses to this post, and thank you juliansmom for being brave enough to start the post! It has been a stressful past few weeks since the birth of my son and I have not had time to post as much as I'd of liked. Though as things slowly calm down and the day that my son gets to graduate and come home comes closer and closer my anxiety about really being a single mom (of a child at home) approaches It is going to be wonderful being able to reach out to all those other moms who have had the same fears I have. Thank you Clara, not only for Silent Grief, for listening and really making it a point for everyone to be able to seek the support that is needed. As another put it, YOU ROCK!!! Thank you again, and may the Lord TRULY Bless You!
Hugs, Em
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