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Post by coveredwifeoftim on Nov 5, 2005 20:52:15 GMT -5
I was thinking it would be great to have a board for women who've had a hysterectomy after losing a baby.
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Post by terrah on Nov 6, 2005 0:30:22 GMT -5
I like that idea...but what about something a bit more encompassing...like a sort of "moving on" board for those that are faced with the reality of life without (any more) children. I think the idea for something like this has been brought up before, but the means weren't there...maybe with the new boards it can?
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Post by mistygrl70 on Nov 6, 2005 19:41:23 GMT -5
I too think this is a wonderful idea.
I hope it's possible.
*hugs*
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Post by teacher4 on Nov 7, 2005 21:37:10 GMT -5
While I am not there, I do believe a board focussing on 'deciding not to try again' for whatever reason (age, hysterectomy, too many losses, etc.), is very valid. I, myself, have contemplated do I TTC again. I think this is a whole other issue that can be very sad for a person to have to deal with and a board focussing on this issue could be beneficial to many.
Dominique
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Post by mistygrl70 on Nov 8, 2005 6:37:40 GMT -5
Excellent point Dominique.
Some women who choose to not to continue ttc..do so for reason beyond their control..
I think it would be wonderful to have a place where they could talk about thier feelings, decisions, desires, wishes, loss of thier dreams.
I wonder if this is possible?
God Bless,
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Post by Buckeye on Nov 8, 2005 15:48:57 GMT -5
I have often felt that SG does a great job for helping people cope with a pregnancy loss and subsequent "trying again" -- but falls short for those who can not or will not try again. For some of us, there is no "happy ever after" TTC, PAM, and MAM story waiting to happen. I think some way of addressing that would be wonderful.
Jen
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Post by melodyg on Nov 12, 2005 19:18:01 GMT -5
I just wanted to point out that I know on occasion there have been posts on the Infertility board by women who, for one reason or another, have made the decision (or had the decision made for them) not to ttc again. Some were pursuing adoption and others were struggling with the realization they would not have living children by any means. I realize that the Infertility board is not the ideal board for this type of discussion... but it may provide a "home" in the meantime?
Melody
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mrsj
Full Member
Posts: 389
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Post by mrsj on Nov 15, 2005 14:57:44 GMT -5
It's funny that I should see this brought up, because I was just kind of thinking about this. I am one of those people contemplating no more ttc. I recently made my first post in mtom. Then, as I was reading through all the other posts, it occurred to me that the vast majority of people here are wanting to ttc, and that's cool. I understand, been there, and wish them much luck. It just makes me wonder if I fit in, or if this is why I'm not getting talked to as much. I have a feeling if I had said I was aching to try for another, I would have seen many replies.
My point is, I think a "moving on" board is a great theory, but just from what I've seen as a newbie there's not enough people on this this site to populate it.
Justine
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Post by Clara Hinton on Nov 15, 2005 19:36:22 GMT -5
Dear SG Family, This topic was suggested in the past, and for a few different reasons, I did not make a separate "moving on" board. I'm still not quite sure how to do it. We had a lot of discussion on this before, and there are many off-shoots of this particular topic (i.e. to stop ttc by your own choice is very different from having a hysterectomy. Aging is another factor.......when perimenopause or menopause prevents someone from having a much-desire baby, this is a different type of grief associated with moving on.) I've been reading a lot on the wisdom needed in creating boards for special topics. While I want to accommodate all forms of grief associated with child loss, I don't want us to get real bogged down with so many boards that it gets too complicated to find our own special board. I hope I'm making a little bit of sense. All of this is to say, I'm still "thinking" about how to go about making a board to fit this particular type of grief. I continue to appreciate your input, so............keep talking! When I hear from you, it helps me to know how to better serve your needs. Love, Clara
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Post by cantlaugh on Nov 15, 2005 22:55:51 GMT -5
This is my last post of the night....
Clara I have thought about this alot, and I have been (as you know) many different types of grief since I joined the SG site in December of 2001. I think I have been a member of most of the boards, with the exception of the loss of a teenager/adult....Please God don't take me there....
I have been a member of I had a miscarriage, I have been a member of TTC, MAM, LOYC, infertility (not that you would know it by my track record the last 3 years), The specialist turned it on....NOW with the arrival of Keytyn, we had it permantly turned off.
Through the last 4 years, do you know what I have learned...Grief is a personal journey, a journey that no one wants to take, but at some point a journey we all must take. At some point in our lives, we are going to loose someone we love, be that person parents, friends, relatives...The hardest (for me) was loosing my child....
We could split the boards a part to accomodate each type of grief. In the end only a handfull of people would be the members of that board, and worst yet, the more the boards are broken down the more isolated one becomes, and eventually the only person on the board would be oneself. Not any one person is going to experience grief the same way.....We are all going to experience the ride in a very personal way....The point of the support groups of SG, would be to support each other....To understand, to listen, to say "I'm sorry, and mean those words", to hold each others hands as we walk through the journey....Doing it alone just plain stinks.....
I just wanted you to know that I support your decision, to be cautious in what types of boards that you add, and what those boards can and do say about SG....Most of all....Grief is lonely road, no matter how you travel it, but someone sitting beside you, even on a computer makes it just a little easier...
God Bless...
Love Donna
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Post by wuvmyangel93 on Nov 16, 2005 22:14:04 GMT -5
Clara
I just wanted to give my input, like Donna I came to sg on a very different board than the one I mostly post to.
I am a mom after infant loss, and before suffering 2 miscarriages I have 1 living child. I post on the mam board because my daughter is living and I know a lot of the folks there
I think we all grieve differently and a moving on board is good, but it could water down the support we all give whenever someone new posts
Although I am not truly a mam I am a mom of a daughter with multiple disabilities and I've never felt like I coudn't post on the mam board.
I for one would probably not use a moving on board any more than I use the loyc board, I just don't feel I belong there and I try to stay positive and focus on my living child.
I am sorry if I don't make sense its a tough week and only getting tougher.
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azch
Full Member
Posts: 125
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Post by azch on Dec 9, 2005 13:55:54 GMT -5
At nationalshareoffice.com there is a board similar to what has been suggested here, and it seems to work out fine that all the various reasons people have for being on that board are lumped together in one place. I think it is an important catagory to have, and although there could be many sub-catagories i don't think it would be necessary to seperate them out.
"Facing the future without another baby"
"For those who have suffered the devastating loss of a baby and are either no longer able to have another child after their loss, or make the decision to not have any more children after their loss."
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Post by prettyfeet83 on Dec 19, 2005 18:08:05 GMT -5
Jc -- well said. I totally agree.
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becca
Full Member
Posts: 471
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Post by becca on Dec 21, 2005 20:36:51 GMT -5
I think a board of this type would be awesome when and how Clara feels it would be best approached. I just wanted to add that when a board like that is added, we need to remember the adoption issue. Will the board be for those who are totally finished ttc for bio children, but may be open to adoption? Or will the board be for those who are totally finished adding children to their families in any way? I have no specific opinion either way, but thought this issue should be considered when the time comes.
Becca
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azch
Full Member
Posts: 125
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Post by azch on Jul 1, 2006 23:57:43 GMT -5
well since this is where i am at in my journey (facing the future without another baby)- and many other people seem to be also (for various reasons), i thought it might be worth revisiting this idea...
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