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Post by tess on Nov 5, 2005 9:39:31 GMT -5
I have read the discussion about these things in other posts.
In our own "Profile" section -- under "Modify Profile" there is a section labeled "Account Preferences" (you have to scroll down to it).
This "Account Preferences" section allows us to turn OFF signatures, Avatars, as well as Images -- this does not mean that we are turning off OUR images, avatars and siggy's -- but that we will no longer SEE others' on the display screen.
By just shutting off Avatars and Images one would eliminate the pictures and tickers -- they would no longer have to see these things; especially if these things are hurtful to them.
The option is there -- if someone is not comfortable viewing such things...they have the opportunity in front of them to shut it off.
I just wanted to share this with everyone -- on the off chance that other's didn't realize it was an option.
~tess~
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becca
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Posts: 471
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Post by becca on Nov 5, 2005 11:13:36 GMT -5
Thanks Tess! I have now turned off images for myself and taken the picture off my avatar. I was hoping someone would post how to do this.
I also hope that our newcomers and those who would be hurt by images of children/babies/preborn babies will figure out how to do this before they are hurt by any images they may see.
I remember when I was in the depths of grief from losing Madeline and going through the very stressful IF treatments and tests. During that time, sadly, I was unable to celebrate pgs and new babies. Just being around children felt like a stab in the heart most days. Maybe this is wrong. And, maybe I am just weak. But, I am not alone in this experience.
Hoping and praying that SG will remain a safe haven of support for those grieving or hurting,
Becca
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Post by andrewsmommy on Nov 5, 2005 12:27:32 GMT -5
Just want to throw my two cents in here for what is is worth.
Tess, I am glad you have pointed out how people can turn off the images if they do not want to see them. I think if you don't want to see them, then by all means, turn them off. No one is weak because they don't wish to view other peoples info.
I also want to say because I know people have posted about this before, that SG is a "safe Haven" for those grieving and hurting, but it is also a place to support each other when you enter new phases in life, like another pregnancy. I know many women on here struggle deeply with a pregnancy after loss. It is hard to find cheer and be excited when your holding your breath, waiting for something to go wrong. Pregnancy tickers are a small way that helps us deal and find joy in a very scary situation.
As for pictures of "preborn" babies, maybe some people who have never had a baby laid in there arms, can't understand. But to us mommies who have had stillborn children, they are the most beautiful things we have ever seen. I am proud of my son. And while he looks "normal" but asleep, I know even mommies of babies who "don't look perfect" still think their child is beautiful and I have to say if they are proud of their child, no one has the right to tell them to put away, take down or hid the photo. That is not a supportive thing to do. Many stillborn mothers have webpages with their babies photos on it. It is a way to celebrate our child's life. A way to heal.
Maybe some people feel the way you do Becca, I am sure you are not alone in your experience, but there are a LOT of women on these boards who have differing opinions to yours. Becca, I am not upset with you personally, but I am getting sick and tired of people trying to tell me what I can and can not do. How SG should be run. Declaring we are not grown up enough to behave ourselves with the whole karma issue. Now, instead of turning off the images, people want us to throw our joy in the trash and take down our pregnancy tickers. Forget celebrating the lives of our babies, take down those photos.
Sorry but I am upset. SG will remain a safe haven of support for those grieving or hurting, but it should also be a place of strength and joy for those who find themselves pregnant after a loss and mothers after a loss. Or should we just elimate those boards too while we are elimating things.
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Post by mistygrl70 on Nov 5, 2005 14:14:10 GMT -5
Amen Mindie!
You echo my very thoughts.
Took me 14 months of ttc before we succeeded. I was more hurt by the "announcing" of bfp's then I was by siggys or web sites even for that matter. Should we expect ppl to stop announcing too becuase others can "get hurt"?... NO not at all.
User have the option the turn off whatever they don't want to see.
I personally hope the tickers and siggy's aren't gonna become the hassle this Karma thing did. If it does get to the point we can't use them.. I won't return to sg.. I want to b proud of my pregnancy and how I'm progressing.. not ashamed of it.. or feel I have to hide it.
I think we all need to keep in mind were adults. Not high school students. Yes... so many have suffered such devastating losses.. but I am still one of those ladies who still support those who have lost w/words of encouragement hope and advice if I have any to give. I would like to think that even though I am pregnant.. I am able to get the same support here.
Thanks for ur post
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Post by Sue on Nov 5, 2005 16:14:05 GMT -5
that's strange... we didn't have these in the old SG but PAM was still a wonderful place to be...
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Post by Myra on Nov 5, 2005 16:54:03 GMT -5
As for pictures of "preborn" babies, maybe some people who have never had a baby laid in there arms, can't understand. But to us mommies who have had stillborn children, they are the most beautiful things we have ever seen. I am proud of my son. And while he looks "normal" but asleep, I know even mommies of babies who "don't look perfect" still think their child is beautiful and I have to say if they are proud of their child, no one has the right to tell them to put away, take down or hid the photo. That is not a supportive thing to do. Many stillborn mothers have webpages with their babies photos on it. It is a way to celebrate our child's life. A way to heal. I think by ' pre-born babies' people were talking about the pergnancy tickers with the embroyos on them. I have nowhere seen or heard of anyone being offended by personal websites. Websites aren't even viewable until you click them so I don't see anyone having a problem with websites.
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Post by tess on Nov 5, 2005 17:35:59 GMT -5
wow -- I hope I haven't started a debate here. That was definitely not my intention. I just figured that instead of trying to change the whole of SG because people are offended by tickers, images, or what may or may not be in a siggy that I would let others know that YOU have the option of turning these off -- so IMO, it should not be the responsibility of the administrators to "forbid" them.
I, honestly, don't think it fair to say that it's okay to have tickers counting the days we've been without our lost little ones -- but that it's not okay to have them for the miracles we may have again been blessed with after our losses.
I'll say no more about this -- I have put my thoughts out here. There is nothing more I can do -- I have made known the options available to EVERY member on here...what you choose to do with your own options is up to you.
~tess~
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Post by jenniferlin on Nov 5, 2005 17:46:15 GMT -5
I'm so confused by this debate. I know that we couldn't have images and avatars at the old SG, but those Lilypie tickers are nothing new. Maybe they were more difficult to include in siggys on the old board so there were fewer of them, but there were there. It seems like instead of celebrating SG's return, there is an awful lot of "looking for trouble" going on. Does everything have to be such a big freaking deal? If you don't want to see stuff, turn it off. I did that just so the pages would load faster (All you girls with your blinkies! You're killing me! )
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becca
Full Member
Posts: 471
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Post by becca on Nov 5, 2005 19:02:25 GMT -5
By all means, I think everyone should post whatever pictures they want. I am very serious. I have turned off images in my setup so I won't see any of them. Like a couple of you said, my choice ... so I chose to do it.
I just hope others figure out that they can turn them off and how to do it before they see too much for them personally and leave altogether. I guess we will never know when or if that would happen because the person would be gone before we would know they were even here. IMHO, that would be very sad and not supportive of the mission of SG. That's why I choose not to have pictures in my avatar or profile. I can't stand the thought of unknowingly hurting someone when I know it's very possible.
I don't think this is a debate. I think it's just opinions that are different from each other. It's not something to debate, just something for each person to think about and make a personal decision about.
I am sure no one will be wrong ... pictures or none. IMHO ... a person would only be wrong about a subject like this if they didn't give it due thought and consideration and make a decision they can personally live with. Sounds like many people have thought this through and have come to individual decisions, which is the way it should be.
Let's not let a difference of opinion become a debate. Just let them be different opinions.
Lastly, I hope my earlier reply wasn't interpreted as me trying to tell someone else what to do in this matter. I reread it and still feel that it simply states what I will be doing in this area, my experiences, and my hopes for SG as a whole. If I didn't word it well, I apologize.
Becca
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Post by prettyfeet83 on Nov 6, 2005 18:34:31 GMT -5
I will never cease to be amazed at how long people here can drag a topic out, debating it and stating their opinions over and over. I try to just post once on a subject and leave it be, because people know how I feel at that point, and that's what's important to me, not that I get the last word in. I thought this subject was long dead but I guess not. *sigh* And I'm not talking about you Tess... your post was meant to be informative. I'm just talking about the whole thing in general. Let's show Clara and Joe that we're grateful to them, and let them deal with the details like signatures, blinkies, images and karma. Let's quit discussing and re-discussing the external things and just focus on the real need at hand, and just support eachother already! *ducking from the rocks being thrown at me*
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tbear
New Member
Posts: 18
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Post by tbear on Nov 7, 2005 1:54:51 GMT -5
Hey Carrie! I smite you! ;D You can duck rocks, but you can't duck the almighty smite! Man, I miss that feature. Anyways, thanks Tess for the instructional. I know someone else posted how to do this but I couldn't find it. I def. get faster downloading with the siggy's off.
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Post by heidi on Nov 7, 2005 5:58:43 GMT -5
I just wanted to add my thoughts on this. My dh and I struggled with infertility for most of our marriage. It would have been very easy to lose hope. I came to SG to help me hold onto that hope when I struggled to do so on my own.
Even now, when my dh has had a vasectomy and I deserately want another child, I struggle. I face the realization every day that I may never have another child. What hope could there ever be for me, however, if I never knew anyone who struggled with the same issues and came out the other side with a happy ending? What better way could there be to see the light at the end of the tunnel than to share in the joy of someone who understands exactly what I'm going through and has proved that miracles do happen?
Photos, tickers...all of them...they help reinforce this hope within me. Do the photos sometimes sting my heart with pain? Yes, but I see happiness, excitement, in others where there was once a life tinged with pain. That brings me hope that things will get better for me too.
Heidi
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becca
Full Member
Posts: 471
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Post by becca on Nov 7, 2005 7:23:21 GMT -5
Hi ladies .... I have forwarded a suggestion to Clara that may be a good compromise. I suggested that perhaps the default could be for images to be turned off when a person signs up. That way, unless they actually choose to turn them on, they are off from the very beginning. And, then those people who want to see images can turn them on manually at the time of registering or at any later time.
Don't know if this is an acceptable compromise or not. Mostly, it's just an idea that let's people put up any images without new members (or others) having to see them without specifically choosing to do so. That way, people can share their joy in images all they want and others can be shielded from images until they choose to see them. Everyone would get what they want/need. Clara and Joe will have to see if this is technically possible.
Becca
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Post by heidi on Nov 7, 2005 9:49:36 GMT -5
Becca,
Did you consider the thoughts of others? Is your opinion any more valid than other on this board? Why is it up to you to come up with a "compromise"? Shouldn't that be something left up to Clara?
Heidi
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Post by andrewsmommy on Nov 7, 2005 10:49:24 GMT -5
Here here Heidi!!!
Thank you for saying what I was thinking. It is about time Clara ran her board the way SHE wants it. It is time for people to stop running to her whinning because they personally don't like somthing.
And I just want to add, I find it very amusing that someone who so doesn't want avatars a.k.a PHOTOS, and you know who you are, asked on another post when the board first went up, HOW TO SET HER OWN UP! But now it's not okay because she has been affended.
Becca, you didn't consider the thoughts of others. And your opinion isn't any more valid than any other on this board. And it is people like you who are really starting to make me question if SG is the right place for me to be anymore. I come for support and to support others, but I end up having to defend my right to get/give that support. And that is just not right. It wasn't personal before but frankly it is getting that way.
So go run to Clara because your feelings are hurt and life doesn't go the way YOU think it shoud. And for everyone else, while it deeply upsets me and angers me, I will TRY to keep my 2 cents to myself now on. No promises though, but I will try.
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