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Post by heidiforever on Nov 30, 2005 13:27:49 GMT -5
What sorts of things have you taken to the cemetary or memorial site for your angels? Do you have any rituals or traditions?
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Post by melody on Nov 30, 2005 13:39:15 GMT -5
We don't get to go very often as Matthew is burried in Happy, Texas. We were living in Brazil when he died but he was born while we were living in Happy. That was where I wanted him buried. We now live 5 hours from there. The first Christmas since I was back in Brazil, a friend made a wreath blanket for him. IT was beautiful. I kept the pheasant feathers she used in it.
At first, I made a wreath or something every Christmas and we took it up there Thanksgiving. Then when our son entered Highschool we didn't always have time to go up there due to ball games, etc. Now, I do my best to get there at one of the Nov/Dec holidays or Spring break. I do try go before Memorial Day in May because they have a ceremony there.
But I have left many things for Matthew. The first year, I bought a statue rabbit. My Dad siliconed it to the base of his stone. I have left statue frogs because he loved frogs. One of his teachers will leave a pencil occassionally.
Just this last weekend, my husband and I got to go together. We planted crocus bulbs hoping they will come up in the spring. The ground is very hard there. But the most special thing I have done recently is that Matthew has a night light. He is the only one in the happy cemetary with a night light and that little spot looks precious at night. I took it last Spring Break but didn't get to stay until dark to see it. I got to see last Friday and I love it. It comforts my heart in a way I can't explain.
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Post by heidiforever on Nov 30, 2005 15:08:37 GMT -5
That's so cool Melody!
For Jeremiah, I've released balloons before, and left him a little outfit that was the size he would most likely wear at the time. I haven't been down there since Mad was a baby because LJFF is buried nearby. Makes me sick to think of that.
Maddie, I bring her little toys and usually spread flowers. Sometimes I will leave them cards or letters. Last time I was there, on Oct. 20th, the anniversary of her murder, I found a 4 leaf clover, so I put that on her headstone. They have a certain area where Maddie is called Babyland, and all the stones have to be flat there. Kinda stupid if you ask me, but whatever.
Every time I go there, and see something her other grandparents left, I throw it in the sewer. I know it's mean but their son killed my baby, so I feel OK with it.
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Post by melody on Nov 30, 2005 15:39:05 GMT -5
Forgot to mention, I spread M&M candies or skittles around and this time I scattered popped popcorn so the birds would have something to eat. Happy is a small community of less than 700 so they don't have many rules at the cemetary. When he was first buried there, there were not many on that side. But now, 14 years later, it has grown up and he is not so alone. I know I have some friends who check on it every now and then and let me know if something is a miss.
Several springs ago, Happy had a tornado that destroyed many homes. Although, I knew the cemetary was OK, I had to see it for myself. Even though it was two weeks later.
I can understand your feelings toward your husband's parents. I am so sorry so very sorry. I can't begin to imagine the pain of it all.
Take care of yourself.
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Post by andrea on Nov 30, 2005 17:08:41 GMT -5
I found these nice big flowers at toys r us one day, they are kinda like stuffed animals, that's the fabric. The stems are bendable and they have a smily face on the face of the flower. Very cute. I bought about 6 of them and keep one or two at a time in her vase. I also have a nice bouquet of artifical flowers in her vase. There is a stone that says "may you find comfort in the arms of an angel" on it and I keep that on her grave stone. I bring balloons on her birthday and tie them to her vase. I've left cards for xmas, holidays, birthdays. I read poems at her grave with my sons on her birthday at her grave and released some balloons, and tied the others to her vase. Stuff like that. I need to make a grave blanket to lie over her grave now since its snowy and the vases have to be taken down for winter.
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