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Post by heidiforever on Nov 28, 2005 19:18:10 GMT -5
bury with your child? I know this is a tough question, but I enjoy hearing all the neat things people put in the caskets with their angels. Did anyone have their children cremated? What about memorials? Do you have any memorials or areas in your home or outside somewhere where you go to just "be" with your babies?
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Post by heidiforever on Nov 28, 2005 19:28:44 GMT -5
My sister made up a small Christmas tree for Madeline, and it's got Little Mermaid ornaments and stuff she'd like on it. Then she has a picture with some of Mad's things and candles nearby, kind of a memorial for her to remember her neice. I have Mad's pics up all over the place, and places around where you may not expect to find little girl stuff, I have put some of her toys and other things. In Jeremiah's casket, he has a cross, several stuffed animals-a few Winnie the Pooh and some bunnies since he died around Easter, a guitar pick from his father, a small heart sitting on his heart, and I took one of his baby booties. In Mad's casket, she has one of her babies, a necklace I made, she's wearing a bandana-she had to have something on her head-it's where the bullet went in, and I have a matching bandana, she's wearing my Easter dress from when I was about her size, her grandma tried to put a picture of her dad in there, but I took it out, along with a small stuffed animal-I didn't want any evil to go down with my daughter, and also, I cut off her hair and threaded it into small tubes, which I made into bracelets. That's all I can remember right now. Oh, also, I took one of her shoes, too. Her leg was broken, and I thought it was kind of cool that I have one of each of their shoes! For Jeremiah, I bought a few concrete angels and bench, and we planted a tree and made a little area to sit and think and stuff. It's at LJFF's parents home so I haven't been there in several years, unfortunately, I think they'd shoot me if I went there.
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Post by Teeny's Mom on Nov 28, 2005 19:35:47 GMT -5
I felt silly at the time, but I grabbed the Christmas dress that she had picked out, tights, shoes, all of it and gave it to the funeral director. We didn't have a viewing and I never saw her after we left the hospital. I didn't want my last images of her to be of her that way. She was creamated because I just couldn't bear the thought of her alone in the dark and cold. (I know - it was just a feeling we had) She had also talked with me not too long before her death (our neighbor had died and she became curious - who would have known) about when she died she didn't want to be buried. Her ashes were scattered in a rose garden in the cemetary and she has a marker. I planted two "teeny" rose bushes for her because the ones there seemed too big. She also has a memorial at her school where they planted a tree and on the playground equipment because she loved to play and was so excited when the school finally had enough money to put in swings. Oh, and some friends of mine went to Build-A- Bear and built an angel bear for her after she died. That was cremated with her as well. Her sister has a matching bear in her room.
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Post by myheart on Nov 28, 2005 19:55:48 GMT -5
I just lost my 9yr old Nov 17th. I want to die....all I do is cry. I haven't left the house since. I just want to go and be with him. Thats all I can think of...I just want to be with him....I can't handle this, how do you handle living without the most important thing in your life. How do you breathe......This was the only place I could find to post anything....I've registered but I can't figure out how to talk to any of you....Thanks for the moment
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Post by myheart on Nov 28, 2005 20:01:41 GMT -5
How do you fuction without them. I lost my world one week and 4 days ago. I want to die, just die. I hate that I wake up every morning when I finally mange to sleep. It feels like a dream. Time went to fast...I can't believe I will never touch him, or kiss him or tell him I love him again. All I can think about is how can I go on. I don't even want to. I love him so much, I can't do this....I just want to be with him. He is myheart, my laugh, my smile, my bestfriend. He was only 9 years old, so brave, so handsome. My God, how is this happening. How do you remember to breathe...I want him back, I'd give my life to have him back....
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Post by heidiforever on Nov 28, 2005 20:23:21 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe there is some way I can help you start a thread? Do you have IM?
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Post by andrea on Nov 29, 2005 14:01:44 GMT -5
We had 2 little blankets with the stuffed animals on them. They both said something bu tI don't even remember. My father and stepmom picked them out. My sister bought her a little cross neclace to wear. Oy...crying......a good friend who lived with us put his ring (it was a jade ring he wore all the time) on her little thumb. I also put the My Little Pony I bought her at the store 3 days before she died. IT was her first and only My Little Pony. :-( Boy, you got the tears flowing on this post. I know there was something else, but I can't remember. :-(
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Post by heidiforever on Nov 29, 2005 20:57:12 GMT -5
I'm sorry hun! I enjoyed reading it though! Some of the little things mean so much, and some of the biggest things end up meaning so little in this life...(((HUGS)))
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nikkimount
Full Member
In this world ye will have trouble. (John 16:33)
Posts: 298
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Post by nikkimount on Nov 30, 2005 1:09:24 GMT -5
I know I don't belong on this board but this post caught my eye. Hope you ladies don't mind if I add something here. When my dad's dad died around 1999 or 2000 (my dad was around 35 or 36). My "grandfather" was always so proud that my dad owned his own logging company. My dad had previously had hats made with his company logo on them and my grandfather wore his all the time. Another family member took that had that he always wore and gave it to the funeral home. At the gravesite after they gave my dad the flag (my granfather served in a war but I'm not sure which one), my dad had them open the casket one last time. He put a brand new hat in the casket and took the old dirty ratty one out. That flag and that old hat sit in my dad's gun safe to this day.
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Post by wuvmyangel93 on Dec 3, 2005 22:11:31 GMT -5
My precious angel was born with a rare chromosone defect and was in the nicu when he was first born. The day I left the hospital my best friend and I went right to sears bought him a winnie the pooh and took it right back to him.
That winnie the pooh and the blanket he came home in are with him. He also has the gold cross from my necklace in his hand, and a blue carnation and a few other flowers. I know there is something his father put in the coffin, but I don't know.
I had him buried because I couldn't stand the thought of him being burned.
He has a full size grave so I can decorate anyway I want. I can't afford to have his tombstone reset yet (500) so he has no tombstone and he's been dead 12 years now.
He has a blue spruce tree at the opposite side of the grave to where he is buried, under the tree is a precious moments water dome train set, one for each year of birth til age 8 (all they made) in between each train car is a corresponding sesame street character holding a number 0 to 8.
he has a cement dog by the tree that says hi/bye we turn it whenever we visit. A few decorations hang on the tree. when I lived in WA his tree was decorated differently for every month.
in the middle of the grave is all his bulbs that I planted and his large pooh statuary, bird bath, laying down pooh, gardening pooh and hugging pooh and tigger.
Above his head was a 3 foot wood cross that was custom made, it was stolen last year and I can't find someone to remake it.
Around the part where he is buried is all his cherished teddies around 100, since people keep stealing them. He has 2 piggy banks, precious moments birthstone cross, and about 3 small ceramic angels. His white boy ceramic angel was also stolen.
He often has balloons or stuffed animals around.
I will try to post pictures someday.
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Post by heidiforever on Dec 5, 2005 6:50:17 GMT -5
That sounds so beautiful!
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Post by anthonysmommy on Dec 5, 2005 14:06:36 GMT -5
Our son Anthony was only 2 1/2 months old and we never got to bring him home. He only wore a hat once but they were watching his temperature so much that they had to take it off. So I took the hat and the matching outfit to the funeral home for him as well as one of his looney tune blankets. As for other things we choose some of the small stuffed animals they used at the hospital to prop up the vent tube and such. Our other son had drawn him a picture that was taped to his bed at the hospital so he wanted to put that in there with him, as well as a family photo of the three of us. My husband had a small bible that he had carried around for years with lots of notes in the back. He felt it had helped him through many tough times over the years and he wanted him to have it with him. Now we know that his soul is gone from his body to heaven and he will never need these things but I think it helps us to heal and makes us feel better in our minds. I hope that comment doesn't offend anyone. I know any of us would do anything to have our children here with us again. I think it is ok to put your thoughts out there to see if others think about things in the same way. Each of us is handling our grief differently and each day it affect us differently too. God Bless Michelle
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Post by cookiemom6 on Dec 5, 2005 14:24:04 GMT -5
My Ike was 17 months old when he died. He was developmentally delayed. He was buried with his favorite rattle in one hand and plastic keys in the other. We also put in his favortie soft book, links, and mis toys. He was wrapped in a beautiful blanket saying "Thank God for little boys" His outfit was overalls with little airplanes on them. I wanted to put in the Bible my grandma had given him but could not find it at the time.
Paula Nathaniel Zachary Ike Forever 17 months - trach accident Always remembered, always missed
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iamd3w
Junior Member
My angel Rhianna
Posts: 58
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Post by iamd3w on Dec 5, 2005 17:20:14 GMT -5
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Post by kellyc on Dec 5, 2005 22:36:14 GMT -5
We lost our little boy 5 weeks ago. We had him cremated and brought him home with us. We felt that was the best thing to do. If we ever move out of state or something like that, we felt that at least he would be with us no matter what. His little urn is in our bedroom, and I find comfort in knowing that!
I'm so sorry for you and your loss.
Missing Mason - 10-29-05
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