:( why?

[iamd3w]

I hate this. I can't snap out of it. Yesterday I went to the wrong place at the right time. I was supposed to go to a speech playgroup for my son and I was on my way but then I drove to regular playgroup--I wonder if I'm in trouble. I am just lost. Tomorrow it will be two years since Rhianna left us. I miss her. I just want a hug. I wish I could have heard her say "mommy, I love you" just once. I am afraid I am not being a good mom to my son. I just been sitting here at the computer screen for the last few weeks feeling sorry for myself. Crying, remembering, not paying any attention to Devlen. I wish I could get into a therapist, I need help now not in three or four months. Its not fair Why did my girl have to go, why couldn't it be someone whose all drugged out or something like that. I didn't do anything bad, why am I being punished??? Why is my sweet child taken from me. All I got left are pictures and memories and my memories are getting all fogged up. I want to feel her soft curly hair, her little grip on my fingers. I want to take her swimming and have her splash my face I want to buy her a new dress and some fancy shoes. I want to do her hair all pretty with fancy elastics. I want to take her shopping. But I never get to do any of that ever again. Its not fair

[Teeny's Mom]

I am so sorry that you have to be missing your Rhianna so much. It does seem like life is not fair sometimes. I just passed the 1 year mark myself and I ask myself the why questions all the time. I am glad you posted here because we all understand what you are going through. I will pray for your strength tomorrow and for a peaceful day.

[locito]

Oh my sweet friend. I understand your pain. We're in the same boat. I wish I could take your pain away....this is just not fair....I am so angered by this hurt we are all forced to suffer. There are no words I can say to make it go away for you, and I hate that. More than my own pain, I hate to see others in pain. I want so badly to help you, but I know there is no way I can bring your sweet girl back to you, and I'm sorry. Please know that I understand, and I wish you all the comfort you can possibly find. I don't know what else to say right now...may God give you strength.

[andrea]

:'(You said everything I'm feeling, about losing my daughter. All the things I want to do with her. Wanting to hold her, kiss her, touch her hair and face. Just have her here. I am glad she never hurt, was loved, didn't suffer and went peacefully. But it hurts so much to have her gone. It makes your heart just ache every single day. And it's good to have people who are going through it and feel the way you do, but that still doesn't take away any of the pain. It's been over a year and it hurts just as much. :-( I know it isnt fair. For either of us. And I have no words that can possibly make it okay, not even for myself. Because nothing will ever make it okay. I'm sorry.

[heidiforever]

I don't know why hun. I wish I knew why. I wish I had some answers for you but nothing would even come close to being OK aside from bringing the two of you together again. Someday you will be with her again, I promise! I just reached the second anniversary of my daughters murder and I couldn't even breathe I was so overcome with it. It's OK to be where you are-though it doesn't feel good, I know. Someday...

[mypreciousashley]

I am sitting here in tears and hurt so badly inside. I hear the pain and you all said all my thoughts. I wish non of us had to feel any of this. A mom should not have to feel this pain. Ladies my prayers go out to you and thankyou for saying all that I feel because its just almost been six weeks for me and I feel what you do. I thought maybe I was just crazy

Debbie