Today it has been a year

[elenasmom]

I havn't signed in to silent grief for a very long time. But today, it seemed appropriate. In less than an hour November 7th will be over which for most people isn't really that big of a deal. For me however, it marked one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. One year ago today my elena was born and just a few hours afterward at 4:04p.m. the same day she died in my arms.
When I use the word bittersweet I believe that is what it truly is. I wouldn't trade that moment or day for anything but it is something I wish had turned out so differently.
Today I thought of her and smiled when I thought of how she used to kick me from the inside. How she made me smile the first time I saw her.
I miss her with every ounce of my mind, heart, and soul.
I want to thank all of you for your encouraging words, I am happy to have found so many wonderful people who deserve so much more.
Thank you and goodnight
-Jen-
"He will actually swallow up death forever and will certainly wipe the tears from all faces..." Isaiah 25:8

[pamela]

(((((((((((((((((((((Elenasmom))))))))))))))))))))),

I know how much you miss your precious baby girl. I wish you had more time to hold her in your arms. gentle hugs and thoughts are being sent your way.

Pam

[locito]

I am so very sorry. I feel your pain. I wish I could give you a happy ending...I'm so sorry you are suffering. I wish you comfort and peace.

[captainQsmom]

As you remember your baby girl I am so glad to see that you can remember her with smile, not just tears. I believe that is what time does for us. It allows us to recall the good, even if it was for a short time. I too have gone through one year anniversaries lately. I have tried to keep in my mind something that a friend told me. He told me it is not the dates of life and death that we should remember but the dash. The dash being the time they were with u, be it a minute, an hour, a day, etc. So when I remember my babes that is what I try to do. I remember them moving inside me, the first look at their beautiful faces and the few short days I had. I like to think that maybe we are beginning to heal when we can remember the good. For the longest time I could only focus on the bad. I didn't mean for this response to go on so long, I really only wanted to let you know that others are thinking of you and Elena.

[Clara Hinton]

Dear Jen,

What beautiful words coming from the heart of a mother. I am so thankful that you can remember Elena as being the most precious, most blessed happening that came into your life.

I think that when we are given the gift of life--if it's for an hour right at conception, for a few days, weeks, months, or years--no matter how long, we have been given the most wonderful miracle of all--the miracle of life.

I've shed many tears because I miss my babies that are not here, and I wonder what life would have been like with them here. I also miss my 13-year-old sister that died, and I wonder almost daily if the two of us would be close, if we would have children of the same ages, etc.

I also thank God for choosing "me"--out of this entire universe of people--to be given the gift of life--the miracle of life. That helps on those days when the pain seems to be more difficult.

I pray that as you continue to remember Elena, you can remember her kicks, that wonderful feeling of holding her for those brief moments, and that your heart can be filled with peace.

Love,
Clara

[judiann]

You touched my heart with your beautiful, precious words, "Today I thought of her and smiled".......

I wish you Peace,

judiann

[Corinne]

{{{{{JEN}}}}}}}

Your words speak from your heart. It shows how much you loved Elena and she knows this.