Post by pams on Oct 31, 2005 12:29:34 GMT -5
While the boards were down I had my second m/c.
I was stilll nursing my one year old, so had not started my period back again yet.
So, I had no idea I was even pregnant.
I started having major cramps and really not feeling well on September 13th.
I started bleeding/spotting September 30th. I started what I thought was my period. It was so painful and I had tons of clots.
Thought that was normal for not having a period for a year.
My cramps and feeling bad continued. I was exhausted all the time.
Then I started bleeding again October 4th. I finally decided to take a pregnancy test, it came back a light positive.
Then my crampings and feeling horrible continued.
I don't have insurance so I could not go in at any given time to be seen.
The next day, my cramps worsened, but still did not go in.
By October 6th, I could not move. My cramps were so bad and I could only lay on my back it was that awful.
My clotting and bleeding had increased and I was not watching to see how much clotting I indeed did pass.
I went to ER and they took a pregnancy test and it was negative. The DR was shocked.
He ordered a blood test and it too was negative.
I came home and he was floored. But, he did tell me that he thought that I was indeed pregnant and in September probably lost the baby and that is what the bleeding and clotting was from.
On October 7th, I was still cramping alot and bleeding. That was the day that I passed the rest of the tissue and my stomach hurt so bad still.
I had depression after my first miscarriage in 2003 and after the birth of my son.
Although both times did not know that I was depressed .
I even took online tests for depression and although I had all the signs of depression, passed it off that there was no way I was depressed.
I was talking to a friend that had a baby 3 weeks after I had David and she too had ppd.
So, this time after my second m/c I knew what signs to look for.
I was fine the first day, but the second day it hit hard!
I did not want to see anyone.
I talked to all my online friends who were so wonderful to help me through all my emotions. I don't know if I could have made it through w/o them to tug me along each day.
My husband did not understand the severity of how I was feeling.
I had to tell him and hope he understood.
He took the kids several times so I could be alone.
I listened too good Christian music, I journaled every day, sometimes several times a day, I talked with my friends, I cried, I begged God to not let me get into a dark depression again.
I have 3 kids to care for plus a daycare plus church obligations.
I could not just drop the ball on all of this.
I took 2 weeks off of any church obligations and stayed in the house for 9 days.
We were going on a trip the middle of October and I was NOT going to go. I did not want to start crying in front of people for no reason.
But, the last day I decided to go. It was the best thing for me.
I really needed that time away from the house, the computer and away from everything just so that I could think.
I have days where I feel gloomy and down, but I am pretty much out of that deep depression.
I am so glad that boards are back up.
I don't know how often I will be posting, but I just wanted to let everyone know that has had a m/c, I hope you all are doing well.
Take care,
Pam
I was stilll nursing my one year old, so had not started my period back again yet.
So, I had no idea I was even pregnant.
I started having major cramps and really not feeling well on September 13th.
I started bleeding/spotting September 30th. I started what I thought was my period. It was so painful and I had tons of clots.
Thought that was normal for not having a period for a year.
My cramps and feeling bad continued. I was exhausted all the time.
Then I started bleeding again October 4th. I finally decided to take a pregnancy test, it came back a light positive.
Then my crampings and feeling horrible continued.
I don't have insurance so I could not go in at any given time to be seen.
The next day, my cramps worsened, but still did not go in.
By October 6th, I could not move. My cramps were so bad and I could only lay on my back it was that awful.
My clotting and bleeding had increased and I was not watching to see how much clotting I indeed did pass.
I went to ER and they took a pregnancy test and it was negative. The DR was shocked.
He ordered a blood test and it too was negative.
I came home and he was floored. But, he did tell me that he thought that I was indeed pregnant and in September probably lost the baby and that is what the bleeding and clotting was from.
On October 7th, I was still cramping alot and bleeding. That was the day that I passed the rest of the tissue and my stomach hurt so bad still.
I had depression after my first miscarriage in 2003 and after the birth of my son.
Although both times did not know that I was depressed .
I even took online tests for depression and although I had all the signs of depression, passed it off that there was no way I was depressed.
I was talking to a friend that had a baby 3 weeks after I had David and she too had ppd.
So, this time after my second m/c I knew what signs to look for.
I was fine the first day, but the second day it hit hard!
I did not want to see anyone.
I talked to all my online friends who were so wonderful to help me through all my emotions. I don't know if I could have made it through w/o them to tug me along each day.
My husband did not understand the severity of how I was feeling.
I had to tell him and hope he understood.
He took the kids several times so I could be alone.
I listened too good Christian music, I journaled every day, sometimes several times a day, I talked with my friends, I cried, I begged God to not let me get into a dark depression again.
I have 3 kids to care for plus a daycare plus church obligations.
I could not just drop the ball on all of this.
I took 2 weeks off of any church obligations and stayed in the house for 9 days.
We were going on a trip the middle of October and I was NOT going to go. I did not want to start crying in front of people for no reason.
But, the last day I decided to go. It was the best thing for me.
I really needed that time away from the house, the computer and away from everything just so that I could think.
I have days where I feel gloomy and down, but I am pretty much out of that deep depression.
I am so glad that boards are back up.
I don't know how often I will be posting, but I just wanted to let everyone know that has had a m/c, I hope you all are doing well.
Take care,
Pam
