Sobbing at work

[celestiana]

Yeesh. I'm a mess. I'm here at work, holed up in my cubicle, bawling my eyes out. Can't stop crying. So upset, feel so alone.

I want my children back so badly. I was supposed to be a mom by now.

Why me, twice in one year? I apologize for the little pity party I'm throwing myself, but I'm really not doing very well at all.

[heavyheart]

(((((HUGS))))))))

You are not alone - there are people here who understand and relate to your pain. You are grieving the loss of not only the child but everything that child represented in it's short life with you.

I am so sorry for your pain.

[Coping]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad today. The "why me's" are the worst. I have them all the time, and I never find good answers. Hang in there - and keep posting here. There's so much support here for you.

[mommyof3angels]

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[frankie]

ya there have been times where i've had to just excuse myself from my work in the warehouse, go to the bathroom, and just spend a few minutes crying. no one's asked about my puffy red eyes yet, but maybe i hid them bettar than i thought...*shrugs*

*hugs* and much love, hun

[izzybee]

hugs
I haven't gone back to work yet but i face that fear also..... we have to girls due around the same time i was. but know that you are not alone your angels are with you everyday.

[heavyheart]

How are things going today?

[Clara Hinton]

((((hugs))))

Crying because you are missing your babies and want your children back does not mean you are having a pity party, and you certainly don't need to apologize. Please, please be kind to yourself.

There are times when we feel the crush of grief more intensely than we ever thought possible. I can remember spending many, many days sobbing following a loss. It's strange, but...........even though it has now been 11 years since my last loss, I can still remember the feeling of being "empty", "all alone", and so "lost". None of those are good feelings, and each one of those feelings is bound to bring tears.

I'm so very sorry that you're feeling so sad. I think the holidays tend to make our grief much more intense. We always have those dreams of how special holidays will be celebrated (especially Christmas, New Year, Thanksgiving.....all of the "biggies" that are so family oriented). When we have gone through loss, our world is suddenly thrown upside down and nothing seems right and everything feels wrong. Again, I'm so very sorry.

Guilt for not being "strong" is such an awful barrier to us. We seem to think that we should bear up under it all and move on as if nothing has happened. That's impossible to do, and you shouldn't even try. It's okay to cry, and often that's the only bit of release we have.

Please know that your grief will not always feel as raw as it is right now. Working through these sad feelings takes time, and it really is "work", so be kind to yourself as you continue traveling this road we call grief.

Remind yourself often that you are not alone, and you do have lots and lots of friends here that care. Try to build up a support system for yourself so that when you are feeling really awful, you'll have friends to remind you that tomorrow is a new day, and you can make it!

My prayers are with you. I hope today was a much more gentle day for you.

Love,
Clara

[Teardrops]

You are not having a pity party....your in pain and mourning the loss of your little babies that you loved and wanted so badly......Just the fact that you are at work is something to be proud of...your trying even though ur hurting so much ....I am so sorry sweetie I wish I could hug you....Hang in there

[kellee]

I went back to work today for the first time. It sure was a rough day. I barely slept last night...I'm so sorry for your saddness. I pray God's peace encompasses you today and every day...and I pray that each day gets easier.