frankie
New Member
crazy chika
Posts: 44
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hello
Nov 27, 2005 20:34:10 GMT -5
Post by frankie on Nov 27, 2005 20:34:10 GMT -5
well, i suppose i should sorta introduce myself, eh?
obviously, the reason i'm here is because i had a miscarriage...i had a miscarriage two years ago, but i was able to sorta ignore it for a while [because of other extenuating circumstances] but now i think ignoring it and not dealing with the grief has just compounded the problem and made it harder to deal with now.
i just found this site today, surfing the web...i had a disturbing dream last night about jenny [the baby i miscarried] and i'm just not able to shake it...and none of my friends are available to talk to, so i was just looking for someone who knew what i was going through and i found this place. my bf says i jus hafta put it behind me and move on and know that it can always happen again...and i know he's lost a daughter of his [not with me, with someone else] but i don't know how he just "moved on"...maybe because he actually dealt with the grief then instead of trying to ignore it and then compounding the problem? i dunno, i'm just rambling at this point...
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hello
Nov 27, 2005 20:43:21 GMT -5
Post by Teardrops on Nov 27, 2005 20:43:21 GMT -5
NO sweetie you are not rambling welcome to silent grief I am sorry for the reason. I know how hard things must be when it finally does hit.....I have had bad dreams that I cannot shake either. It just seems like we must always greive in order to get to a place where we can have peace. I am so sorry you lost your sweet baby............I know your heartbroken......I am here to listen you no matter what and so are all the other ownderful ladies...you know sometimes it seems like men handle things much easier than women.....I don't know but myhusband sems to feel different than I do too most times.......again I am sorry for your loss...hugs
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hello
Nov 28, 2005 14:15:16 GMT -5
Post by my3girls on Nov 28, 2005 14:15:16 GMT -5
I am so sorry about Jenny hon, & for the first angel too. I never really grieved on my first loss & that came back to bite me in the tail this time around too.
Please don't think that it was so easy for your friend to be able to "move on" - he just didn't have as much to heal from as you will. I finally came to the conclusion that my hubby doesn't mourn in the same way I do & that this was easier for him b/c Piglet wasn't as real to him as she was to me. I was the one getting sick like clockwork every day not him! I finally realized that she was still all mine & that no one had really gotten to share in her life yet b/c she wasn't "there" to anyone else. I hadn't been showing, they hadn't seen her, held her or played with her ~ she was still just an idea to them & she was my reality. It isn't that my hubby doesn't love & miss her - she just wasn't a constant in his mind - he never had to watch what he ate, how much he slept, how hard he excersized, make sure he remembered to take the prenatal pills every day. I can't fault him for that, he loves & misses her in his own way & he is healing in his own way ~ even though some times it does seem like he is ready for me not to be hurting from this anymore. He just can't handle seeing me in pain when there is nothing he can do to make it better for me.
We're here when you need us & we'll cry right along with you & laugh with you when you are ready.
(((Hugs))) Brie
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frankie
New Member
crazy chika
Posts: 44
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hello
Nov 28, 2005 19:29:26 GMT -5
Post by frankie on Nov 28, 2005 19:29:26 GMT -5
thanks for your replies. ya, i spose men must cope differently than women with these things, though i dunno...he actually had bekah until she was like 8 years old, i think? she had a heart defect and she was in for surgery, but it didn't work; they tried lots of things, but nothing worked, and he ended up shutting off her life support thing himself cuz there was nothing they could do. when he told me about that, i thought that it was good that he knew what i was going through and we could help each other, but i guess not.
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hello
Nov 28, 2005 19:30:06 GMT -5
Post by mommyof3angels on Nov 28, 2005 19:30:06 GMT -5
Welcome to silent grief. Sorry about your loss.
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