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Post by Teardrops on Nov 20, 2005 0:49:34 GMT -5
I don't really know what's on my mind lately...I think I just needed to put this in writing before I went to bed. I miss my little Julian so much that I lost in april. Instead of a beautiful baby for the holidays I just get to miss him so much sometiems I can't breathe. Should I be ttc again A part of me wants to so much another part of me feels I'm not yet ready. I'm not even sure why I feel I'm not ready. I know I want another child very much...I'm scared I guess. I have 3 children already Julian was going to be my last baby to complete my family. My children were so excited about a new baby. I had one pregnancy that was in my tubes by the time I knew I was pregnant I had to have the baby removed so I was sad but in a way I knew what happened it was in my tubes and I knew why I lost the baby but with julian it was different I carried him for 10 weeks and talked to him every night I never knew what happened he was just gone I always thought you get pregnant...you have a baby...now that i had a mc I can never think that way again...I'm terrified of loosing another baby....I don't think I would survive this again yet I long for another baby so much.....scared to try but I want another baby am I making any sense or just loosing my mind?
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Coping
Junior Member
Posts: 84
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Post by Coping on Nov 20, 2005 7:19:01 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you continue to feel. I don't think you are losing your mind - I feel exactly the same way. My m/c was also my first pregnancy. I really want to be a mother and have a child, but I can't get up the courage to start TTC again. I know I'll never have the same carefree joy that I did the first time, and the possiblity that I could m/c again...too much to take! I know the day will come when each of us will be strong enough to take another chance. I hate it when people say this to me, but my experience tells me it's true - in time, it will happen. Hang in there.
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Post by bbear on Nov 21, 2005 10:46:27 GMT -5
I feel like since i concieved again i have made vast improvements! I do think man I should be big pg now and I am not, but i can look toward the future and smile again! If you don't feel ready you probably aren't but I wanted a baby for 1 1/2 before ttc and then lost my first so the desire to be a mother was stronger for me. I have a deep need to be a mother!
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