i need help and suggestions pleaase

[swtsue]

hello i am a 32 yo woman who had a miscarriage march 5, 2005 and am currently going through tests to find out if i am going through early menopause i have had no period in 41 days with no ovulation detected and no hcg hormone present i am so scared that i will never have that baby that i so desperately wanted with the man of my dreams and am very concerned that my bf will leave now that there is no way of having one (not sure yet the results will be in on wednesday) i cant stop crying and am angry at everyone i barely get out of bed these days and if the phone rings i just stare at it like it was an alien all my friends just tell me to cheer up like its that easy will they ever understand? and i have no family left they have either passed away or we are estranged and my friends tell me its not the end of the world and get over it but to me it is i lay in bed for hour thinking of ways to die if these tests come back and say that i am going through early menopause why bother living if i am no longer a woman besides if i do die then i can be with my angel baby again and maybe find that peace and understanding in the after life if anyone has any ideas of how to cope with all of this please let me know cause right now i just wanna die

[momof3]

Nothing I say will ever take away your pain. But I am praying for you. May you find peace in this difficult time.

[blessedmom2four]

You sound like your at a breaking point right now. I understand your pian and the fear of never haveing your own children, but remeber as little consilation as it may feel now. Theres always adoption to consider. Adoption can still make that little baby feel just as if you had carried them and you will love them feircly. My mother always told me that I didnt grow in her stomach, but I grew in her heart. This may not be what youu want to hear right now. But please dont do anything rash right now. It sounds like you need to be around people as much as you may not want to be right now it sounds safer. email me anytime you need to. I'll bw praying for good results from your doctor.
luv
Liz

[Teardrops]

I am so sorry honey and I know nothing I say will take away your pain. I do know how it is to not have a fmaily I have a great sister but that's about it the rest of my family are not close to me. It's weird how no one understands the pain and they seem insensitive telling you it's going to be ok when your just trying to breathe right now.....so don't look to them look to us here....the ladies at silent grief we know how your feeling and we understand. There are so many nights I wanted to go be with my angel baby.... just let it all go......... why keep fighting. Yet I am still here......take one day at a time honey and wait for the results it could also very well be stress why you haven't gotten a period. I once didn't get my period for 2 months becuase I wasn't eating properly and not taking care of myself and under way too much stress. I get them regularly now and once you start to get them regularly that means every month is putting you closer to being a mommy. Hold on darling for as long as you can I have to beleive god has a plan for all of us we are seeing something other women never do...we may think there lucky but we may also think we were chosen for something higher by experiencing something that test our very being I know it's hard honey and it's ok to not answer your phone....I still don't answer my phone now because some days it's to much......but I have faith your meant to be a mommy...like the other post there is adoption that is always an option but there still is the chance for you to conceive and your future baby won't have a mommy if you take your life. If you need to talk please email me anytime.....I know more about that feeling than I can say here...but sweetie it is definately the wrong choice....god loves you and so do we((((hugs)))) you'll be in my prayers

[nikkimount]

My prayers and thoughts are with you right now.