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Post by Teardrops on Nov 14, 2005 16:04:43 GMT -5
I promised myself I would go to work today. I didn't. I feel so bad I have alot of responsibility at work I'm the person in charge which is why I can call out when I need too but it's just too much for me right now. Now that the holidays are coming I'm just so sad....even more so. I don't care about the paperwork or returning calls or the work on my desk. All I want is my sweet Julian Aidan....my precious baby boy that I lost in april. All I do is think of him. I fall asleep with him in my heart and tears on my face and I have no desire to go out. I look out the window and wonder how people can just go about there lives when I don't even want to be without my baby. My sweet little 5 yr old when she sleeps (her name is kayley christina) I watch her and hold her hand for hours. I kiss her little fingers and just wonder what her little brother would have looked like. I know she's a blessing and instead of making me more happy it makes me more sad because I know what I'm missing...that may sound crazy ....I guess I just feel so lost right now and terrified I won't find my way back
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nikkimount
Full Member
In this world ye will have trouble. (John 16:33)
Posts: 298
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Post by nikkimount on Nov 14, 2005 17:19:52 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. *Hugs*
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Post by sadmomof3and1angel on Nov 14, 2005 19:36:51 GMT -5
Im sorry, Im feeling the same way with my EDD coming up next week, I wish I had some advice for you. I will tell you however that I spoke to my priest on Sunday about this all going on with me and asked for suggestions as to what I can do to "remember". She told me to write the baby a letter, light a candle and to try and untie the string in my heart and release it up to god. We all have that string that is holding a place in our hearts for our angels. Untieing the string is supposed to help us release the angel from our hearts and give them to god. Not saying that we are to forget but to try and release some of the pain. It makes some sense to me when she said it. As I blow out the candle I am also supposed to watch the smoke form the candle and take it as my message to my baby in heaven as the smoke goes up that I am sending it to him, to let him know that mommy is sending my love to him. Hope that helps you a little bit
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