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Post by sadmomof3and1angel on Nov 1, 2005 19:56:11 GMT -5
when people just tell you to hang in there and that everything will be ok?  |
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Post by Krista on Nov 1, 2005 20:44:13 GMT -5
Yes, I know what you mean.
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Post by Mommy2amazingGrace on Nov 1, 2005 22:45:21 GMT -5
I think that people say that thinking that it makes us feel better, not knowing that it makes us feel worse. I don't want it to be ok, I want my baby back.
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Coping
Junior Member
Posts: 84
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Post by Coping on Nov 2, 2005 8:08:59 GMT -5
Yes - people I talk to have such a positive attitude about everything "working out," but I feel nothing but negative. I just want them to stop talking and let me feel how I feel. I want people to know that it's o.k. for me to feel bad, and they don't have to serve as my cheerleader trying to make me happy again.
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Post by sadmomof3and1angel on Nov 2, 2005 8:32:54 GMT -5
I mean its nice that they are trying to be there, but they just dont understand, It isnt ok and wont be for a very long time |
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Post by sadmomof3and1angel on Nov 2, 2005 8:33:49 GMT -5
I think that people say that thinking that it makes us feel better, not knowing that it makes us feel worse. I don't want it to be ok, I want my baby back. Youre back!!!  Its Kelly, Amber!! Thank god this place is back huh? |
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Post by AlanasMomma on Nov 2, 2005 9:35:30 GMT -5
I can't stand that.
I also can't stand to hear, "I'm sorry" or "It'll work itself out when God is ready."
UGGGG!!!
And to add insult to injury, I'm hearing it double time b/c I"m a victim of hurricane Katrina. I was forced out of my home in Slidell, LA and had to move to Birmingham, AL. I still have my LA id, so every time I pull it out I hear, "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry!! Did you loose everying?? Were you there for the flooding?? IS your family alive??" And I have to explain it OVER and OVER and OVER.
I'm so sick of hearing that. It's no one person's fault. No one has anything to be sorry for. This was an act of God, nature at her finest....or should I say deadliest?
Either way, no one should be sorry for me. I have great friends who reached out to me and helped me when the government hasn't. I have a home now, furniture, clothing, cable, computer, gas in my car and so on. There are soooo many back home still living in tents, on their property. Kids sitting outside of the tents fanning themselves b/c they are so hot. FEMA still has not been down there and gotten to these people to get them trailors.
THOSE are the people that deserve an I'm Sorry.
Not to mention the hundreds and thousands of people who lost loved ones to this storm.
Us, we're very lucky and quite blessed that I have the groupe of friends I have. And the family that we have that was willing to help.
Anyway, I'll get off my "soap box" now.
Sorry to "go off" like that.
I just SOO feel your pain.
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Post by Lendy on Nov 2, 2005 15:12:14 GMT -5
People really don't mean anything by what they say. They are just trying to help and to make you feel better. I know it hurts, I still remember the pain, even though it has been almost 3 years since my angel was born into Heaven. Today people still say things that hurt. But I let most of it go, because I know they mean well...very rarely do I go off on them (sometimes though).
I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
Lendy
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Sue
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by Sue on Nov 2, 2005 17:53:36 GMT -5
Definitely! EVERYONE kept saying that to me (I know they meant well) but all I wanted to scream was "I know it will be okay but it really really really sucks right now!". It's been just over 6 months since I lost my daughter and I feel like people are sick of me talking about my miscarriage. I definitely don't talk about it as much anymore as I heal each day but I will talk about it occasionally. I can't tell if people are just uncomfortable that I am talking about it or if they think I should be over it already. This week is tough because we are having a baby shower for a co-worker on Friday. She adopted a baby girl who is now about a month old. The entire office is going to be decorated all in pink and my co-workers think I'm being bitchy because I'm not helping them decorate and getting all excited about it. I don't expect them to understand how I feel but I guess I just wish they knew how hard this is for me. For one, the baby is a girl which is what my child was, and two, the baby was born just 7 days after my EDD so I am going to have this constant reminder of how old my child would have been. I almost decided not to go because it would be too hard but I'm going to be strong and go.
Take care everyone.
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nikkimount
Full Member
In this world ye will have trouble. (John 16:33)
Posts: 298
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Post by nikkimount on Nov 2, 2005 21:26:46 GMT -5
I think the worst I heard was "You need to just get over it." From a supposed to be best friend of 8 years who has a 3 year old that she didn't even want.
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Post by bbear on Nov 3, 2005 11:44:34 GMT -5
i just overlook those replys because no one that hasn't been through it understands! They are trying to show they care but don't know how! It is hard to overlook but sometimes that is the only solution-but you can at least come back here to vent!
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Post by jenn on Nov 3, 2005 13:35:26 GMT -5
Yeah, that can be difficult. Another thing I hate is - "you just have to keep busy and think about other things". Yuck. Yeah, you know, it is true that sometimes it helps to just do other things, but obviously that isn't what I want to hear.
I think sometimes people just say things that are useless, even when they mean the very best.
Jenn
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Post by Mommy2amazingGrace on Nov 5, 2005 17:46:24 GMT -5
Oh my god Kelly!! I have missed you so much!! I am so glad that SG is back up and running. I have been missing everyone like crazy!
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Post by sadmomof3and1angel on Nov 5, 2005 17:49:54 GMT -5
i just overlook those replys because no one that hasn't been through it understands! They are trying to show they care but don't know how! It is hard to overlook but sometimes that is the only solution-but you can at least come back here to vent! |
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Post by sadmomof3and1angel on Nov 5, 2005 17:50:15 GMT -5
Oh my god Kelly!! I have missed you so much!! I am so glad that SG is back up and running. I have been missing everyone like crazy! Me too!!! Huggs!! |
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Its Kelly, Amber!! Thank god this place is back huh?
