Post by carlyj on Apr 22, 2015 22:26:01 GMT -5
I gave up before I tried. I got pregnant by accident but i was excited to hear the news. I was pregnant with the child of someone i loved! Turns out he didnt love me. Had the nerve to question the paternity. So then i was scared and all alone but mostly I didn't want history to repeat itself. My child growing up without a father and me working 24/7 to provide for us.
I was selfish and didn't think anything through about how I was going to feel afterwards. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I'm ashamed. I beat myself up every day. I blame the father for turning his back on me, I blame myself for being a coward. I can't get passed the guilt, anguish and devastation that's wreaking havoc on my emotioNal state. I've been diagnosed bipolar and I can't seem to think straight. I had a 2nd mom who WAS there for me when my own mother gave up. She passed away just before my pregnancy. She would be so ashamed if she saw me now.
I was selfish and didn't think anything through about how I was going to feel afterwards. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I'm ashamed. I beat myself up every day. I blame the father for turning his back on me, I blame myself for being a coward. I can't get passed the guilt, anguish and devastation that's wreaking havoc on my emotioNal state. I've been diagnosed bipolar and I can't seem to think straight. I had a 2nd mom who WAS there for me when my own mother gave up. She passed away just before my pregnancy. She would be so ashamed if she saw me now.