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Post by Clara Hinton on Dec 28, 2006 17:47:47 GMT -5
Dear Silent Grief Family,
It's always hard to know quite what to say about the New Year when I know that the pain from child loss cannot be shelved and put in the past with the coming of a new and different year. The pain of yesterday seems to often carry through into the New Year. It doesn't go away just because the calendar says to turn the page.
I will say, though, that it helps to remind ourselves often that the New Year is often like a new beginning. We spend lots of time in reflection and introspection and we begin the year with many hopeful goals and expectations for the days and weeks ahead.
Let's all try to focus on the many miracles that are waiting to unfold in our lives. Every day is a fresh new beginning, and quite often what looks like the most bleak ending to our joy is a means to lead us to deeper joy--the kind that we've never experienced before.
May God bless each and every one in the year 2007!
Much love, Clara
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shadowcat20
Full Member
Curtis-13, Andrew-9, Jacob-7 - Big Brothers to little sister Sierra - Born Feb 28, 2007
Posts: 282
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Post by shadowcat20 on Dec 29, 2006 13:50:50 GMT -5
Thanks. I seem to be spending a lot of time in reflection this year.
I can't forget my loss, and I don't want to forget, but it doesn't pain me like it used to. However, I then feel guilty because I have hope for my future. I sometimes feel like my loss means that my life should have ended too. It doesn't help that I was so close to not making it too.
I know that I can't be in a permanent state of disabling grief. My family deserves more from me than that. I deserve more. But with all the steps I've taken to make me happier, healthier and a better friend and mom, I still feel like I'm betraying what I have lost.
Thank you for this site where I don't have to feel like I'm the only person. For a place I can express my fear. Here I can be afraid, hopeful, guilty, frustrated and confused. I don't get ridiculed or dismissed. I am understood. Because everyone here feels the same way.
Here's hoping that everyone has a Blessed and Wonderful 2007!
Chris
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Post by Clara Hinton on Jan 1, 2007 18:41:51 GMT -5
Chris,
((((hugs)))) I hope that this year will bring many special blessings your way including being able to feel hope without the guilt. That will be a huge step in moving forward in your grief.
Love and prayers,
Clara
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Post by MomofBuilder on Jan 2, 2007 19:41:49 GMT -5
Dear Clara, I find the new year difficult. I have never paid that much attention to the year changes except trying to write the new date. Holidays weren't holidays in my family growing up...just more bleak days. My own family celebrated holidays but New Year's still was not that special to me. The first new year came only 5 weeks after Aaron died and I just could not believe a new year could start without him. Now this is the third and it feels less painful..but not special or hopeful. Most problems can be fixed in some way or life get better in unexpected ways but NOTHING can bring back our precious children. I think it would be terribly hard to lose a child when they are teens or young children but it is still terribly hard that Aaron was an adult. I don't have any of my children here at home or even here in town. We do keep in touch because we are a close family. There is ONE think that would make the new year something to look forward to..... if one of my kids had a new baby... Maybe...maybe...that will happen.
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Post by Clara Hinton on Jan 2, 2007 19:53:35 GMT -5
Carol, ((((hugs)))) You are so right--there is absolutely nothing that can "fix" losing a child. We can always rebuild a house if it burns down, or move to another one. We can get another job if we lose our current one. We can even build new relationships if our current relationship is not good. But........we cannot bring back our child. That is exactly why losing a child is such a difficult grief. And, I don't think it matters what age the child was, the grief can be just as intense, just as raw, and last just as long. We all grieve very differently, and the pain touches our hearts so personally that no two people will ever hurt exactly the same. Losing a child indeed does take away so much joy and so much anticipation for the future; however, I did find the very last sentence you wrote to be full of H O P E. Please know that I have said a very special prayer for you! Love and best wishes in this coming year. Clara
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Post by Tonya on Jan 3, 2007 12:49:25 GMT -5
I hope for a healthy pregnancy. I'm due july 27, if i'm lucky it could be sooner. plus in memory of my baby dorothea i want to make a grief box for the local hospital so that if this happens to any one else this year 2007 they will know that they are not alone!
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Post by Clara Hinton on Jan 3, 2007 13:23:09 GMT -5
Tonya,
Many, many prayers for a very healthy pregnancy! May your blessings and joys be far beyond what you can imagine!
I think your idea of presenting your hospital with a grief box is so wonderful. It is my prayer that your hospital will use that as a means of comfort for grieving parents.
Love and best wishes for the best year ever!
Clara
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Post by troopie on Jan 4, 2007 12:26:25 GMT -5
I just read this post today and it touched my heart and i started crying. i myself was looking foward to the new year for new beginnings and trying to run from all the pain of the last year. I know the miracles you are talking about my friend is living proof. I know God has a plan for all of us and we just need to sit and wait patiently for it to come to light... I know it's very hard to do but like you said it will lead you to something wonderful.. I pray for all of my family here and hope everyone's new year is better than the last one.... God never gives us more than we can handle. Thank you for having this place where i can go to tell of my victories and loses... we have a wonderful family here and i thank God everyday that you did this for us... thank you again Clara and family!
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montanabkc
New Member
may God be with you all through all this for he has been my only salvation
Posts: 31
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Post by montanabkc on Jan 5, 2007 19:48:39 GMT -5
Clara,I don't post much,but I want to say thank you,and bless you for this site,because it's always there when we need someone.Thank you,Montana
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Post by michaelsmom4ever on Jan 25, 2007 23:44:14 GMT -5
Hi.. I've been MIA for awhile... the holidays always are filled with mixed emotions.. I can never forget my precious son Michael... he and I were more than Mom and Son..we were great friends for one another.. he is the youngest of my 4 children.. he kept me young and put a step into my life..he still lived at home with us and was a great young man... our family is struggling with grief... it never seems to end... I can still hear his voice that morning and see his smile... telling me not to worry... he'd be fine.... but he wasn't... the dense fog ws the cause of his accident... we miss him so much... grief comes in may forms but the loss of a child is "too" much for parents to bear.... but we go on another day and pray for hope.. butterfly kisses.... to all of you... Gail
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