Post by myheart on Nov 17, 2014 23:40:00 GMT -5
Today I said goodbye to my Clyde. The years have passed and the pains burns like it was yesterday. I once again find myself lost and numb. I found myself here. Back to the only place and people who understood. I spend everyday pushing the pain away, hiding from I it and pretending it's not happening to me. On this day I am unable to keep it away, unable to stop the tears. I miss him so much. I fell that pain, the one that rips at your heart and puts a fist in your stomach. I don't want to let myself go back to this place. I wish I wish for just one more moment to see his face to hold him. Why was he taken from me so soon. I love you my best best boy in the world. I went to the beach today, his favorite place. A few months ago I went to look for sand dollars with my nieces. We searched for 3 hours and nothing. So long my shoes floated out to sea with the tide! Today walking along, thinking of him, I look down. A single sand dollar sits before me. Not another on the whole beach. I truly believe he set it there for me to find, to know he's with me. I need to believe that. I thought I could come here more but it's so hard. It's so hard to live without him. I think about my old "friends" often. Thank you silent grief for being here when I can't get through another day.
