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Post by silkysmurf on Sept 26, 2014 18:34:05 GMT -5
Hello,
I'm new to this forum, despite not being new to the tragedy of miscarriage. I learned today that I have had a second missed miscarriage. I am devastated. I'm a very private person so do not have many to talk to about this. My mom and sister have never lost a baby so while I lean on them for support, they just can't fully understand how awful this is. A bit of my history, I'm 34, and DH and I started ttc in 2009. We were found to be sub-fertile so were overjoyed to conceive naturally in 2010. Our amazing DD was born in 2011 and we are grateful for her every day. We started trying to conceive again once she was 2. We were surprised to conceive quickly but discovered at the 12-week ultrasound that the baby had died at 8w6d. My body never did recognize the loss so I opted for a D&C. That was the right choice for our family, despite bleeding heavily during the procedure and having a long recovery afterwards. It took us another 8 months to conceive again. We were thrilled and grateful for the chance to complete our family. But an ultrasound today (at my insistence because I've been so scared of another loss) told us the baby died at 9w4d. That was just two days ago. I feel lost. I don't know why this is happening again, and I'm afraid of bleeding too much again. I'm nearly 35 so I feel like I'm getting too old to keep trying and risking more losses. Yet we wish so much for a sibling for our DD and DH and I both have close relationships with our own siblings. I just don't know how to move forward. Thanks for reading my sad tale.
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Post by libralise on Sept 29, 2014 19:51:05 GMT -5
Hi my dear. I am so sorry to read what you are going through right now. My heart feels heavy to think of what you are feeling. I am sending you love and a long warm hug. I am so glad that you found us, particularly since you say you do not have a big support system. I also did not have a large support system (I too have had two miscarriages) and it made my venture long and lonesome. Depending on where you live, there could possibly be support groups in your area. Being as you are a private person (which I completely understand, as I was one myself) you may find certain options helpful. In my city (I am in Ontario) telephone and text message support is available, as well as monthly peer-led support groups. In the meantime, I hope that you find some support here at SilentGrief. Aside from working through these difficult questions you have about trying to get pregnant again, you are working through the grief of this little baby you have lost. I do not know if you found any strategies to be particularly helpful with your miscarriage, but I named my babies and made a piece of commemorative jewellery - I found these to be helpful and comforting ideas. As you navigate this sadness I will be thinking of you and sending you strength. xoxx
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