Post by lost2bfound on Jun 20, 2014 11:39:57 GMT -5
I'm not sure anyone is in the fertility chats so I'll get to the point in case no one reads this. Husband and I have been trying to conceive for 7yrs. Had a miscarriage in 2011 and DH was recently confirmed with zero morphology and that our only way of getting pregnant is with IVF. Well the dr. said that we had a 15% chance of conceiving on our own. My husband thinks I'm about to crack under all the stress from all the fertility testing and surgeries to improve his fertility and the IVF news and trying to raise money for IVF but so far a lot of views just not much response. I feel guilty for my frustration with everyone and everything. I can't really talk to anyone about how I'm really feeling because none of our friends understands what we're going through. It's been a roller coaster of emotions for me. My DH is holding it together and is there for me but I don't know to feel normal again. It's going to be about a year or two for us to save up the money for IVF. But ........ I can't stop thinking about it. About what can I do to make it better. I can't sleep because of the stress and my brain won't shut off, I'm snapping at my DH. I've prayed and God is giving me strength to just keep breathing. But how do you know when it's time to just step back. I mean if it's Gods will for us not have a child, and then we save for the IVF and nothing happens, we can't afford to do it again. Should we just try foster to adopt and continue to pray for that 15% chance to work. I'm so emotionally and physically exhausted. Does anyone else have these feelings? Does anyone else everfind themselves getting mad because your healthy but your DH isn't? I felt that in the beginning but not now. I know it's not his fault and I never make him feel as though it is. I'm a horrible person for not having enough faith, not being strong enough and being selfish. Sorry to ramble and rant, I guess I'm mainly just putting this out there hoping that I'm not alone in how I feel.