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Post by bernie34 on Nov 29, 2011 20:17:33 GMT -5
Hubby and I have been through all the assesments and classes. We are in New Zealand now, so we have a profile in a 'pool', which could be picked out at any time. But I wonder - would most birth parents be put off by 45 yr olds wnating to adopt? I mean, we are getting on a bit (even though both of us are active and healthy). I just wonder if I've left it too late. Am I kidding myself. Would i be able to parent a baby properly? I'm even starting to wonder if it is the right decision. And once again here we are WAITING! after the waiting to get pregnant, the waiting for IVF, the torture of waiting to have a pregnancy fail. I don't think I can stand it any more. And this is self inflicted!! Am I mad?  Bernie |
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Post by kbarcroft on Dec 1, 2011 22:59:42 GMT -5
I know that waiting for an adoption placement is horrible. My husband and I have been waiting for nearly 4 years. Part of the reason is that we had two failed adoptions in this time. Sorry, not trying to scare you. I was actually meaning to say something positive. In this time we've actually talked to quite a few birth mothers because we did a lot of our own advertising (we're in Michigan in the US, not sure what your laws are there about advertising). Birth mothers are looking for different things. Usually they're looking for some kind of connection more than at the age. I spoke with one birth mother who did say she thought we were a bit old (39 at the time), but she didn't mind it. She didn't think that meant we were too old. I've seen a number of articles that say that older mothers are better equipped for parenting. We have a lot more life experience and more resources. Sure, parenting is still a scary prospect no matter when it happens, but I'm sure you can do it. Your doubts just mean you're mentally preparing. I hope it happens for you soon.
Kathleen
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Post by marianne on Dec 2, 2011 4:19:53 GMT -5
i dont think 45 is too old , especially when if things had gone your way you could have your own baby at this age.
i would assume most adoptive mums are older as , like you, it takes time to realise you going to have problems with pregnancy. these days with careers etc many women would be trying at your age so having an older mum is not a big deal.
im 43 and just had my baby, and as a high school teacher heaps of my students were born when their mum was my age.
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Post by springtimebabe on Dec 7, 2011 1:41:59 GMT -5
if the fire in you and dh is still lit and longing for a child, then go for it! No, not crazy at all. I am way better at parenting in my 40's than in my 20's and early 30's....Life kind of slapped me around and my own decisions didn't help in the mix so I feel my character was worked on.
My sister adopted a child in 2004 when she was 44. My niece is 15 now. Total brat but they are making it.
It takes all kinds to make the world go around.
Good luck! I hope everything works out great!
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Post by monicag on Dec 7, 2011 11:09:25 GMT -5
I think it is a wonderful and beautiful thing!!! May you be blessed with a beautiful lovely baby who has parents who waited a long time to love and care for him/her!!!
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Post by Janis on Dec 11, 2011 23:45:51 GMT -5
((Bernie))
Haven't been on here in ages and happened to log on and see this! ;D I absolutely DO NOT think you are mad. This is wonderful wonderful news.
Please update when you can.
((HUGS))
Janis
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Post by kjb96a on Dec 12, 2011 13:36:28 GMT -5
No, you're not mad! You're awesome! You're going to give a child the biggest blessing of his/her life: a good home and loving parents. Can't wait for you to receive that child. It's the most amazing experience I've ever been through. Love my ds!!
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Post by Clara Hinton on Dec 14, 2011 16:28:48 GMT -5
Bernie,
I am always thrilled to see when parents have made the decision to adopt! What a beautiful, wonderful, self-less thing to do!
I'm praying that God will bless you with a precious baby very soon!
Love,
Clara
PS 45 is a GREAT age to adopt!!! ;D ;D
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Post by Peanutsmommy on Dec 21, 2011 19:55:32 GMT -5
Coming from an experience older adoptive mom, you are not mad. I began only fostering my daughter when she was only 11 months old w/no intention on adoption. She is now 4 yrs old and our adoption was final when I was 45. Now, 47 years old is a lot different than when I had my biological son at an early age. I mean my energy level gets low by the end of the day b/c I work full-time but being an older mom you are more aware of the more important things in live. Therefore, go for it and live, love and laugh often. I'm sure you will.
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Post by Darlanne on Jan 25, 2012 9:01:13 GMT -5
Bernie,
I hope you see my message and I hope that by the time I do hear from your life is full of a much deserved happiness. Please email me (darla.highfield@gmail.com) and let me know how you are doing, I miss you dear friend and think of you every day.
And, 45 is not too old! Your heart knows best, and there are few people I know whose heart is as loving as yours. May all of your uncertainties and self doubt dissipate and be replaced by peace and strength. I have faith in you and all you have to offer a little one my precious friend.
Much Love to you Bernie, my friend.
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