Last night

[myangelamanda]

Last night was Kristin's 6th Halloween. Sigh. And the really sad thing about it was when it was all over ... I sat down ... and thought to myself how Amanda only ever had 7 Halloweens ... that next year might be Kristin's (ETA a name for clarity) last time to dress up and go trick or treating. Then I remembered that Amanda wanted to dress up as a baby (footie pj's and a bottle) for Halloween ... only she died 29 days before she could do what she had wanted to do since summer.

I'm not looking for a response ... I just needed to share.

[brokenheart]

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

[weeblemom]

So hard. I wish we didn't know this pain. ((((Hugs))))

[missingisaiah]

I'm so sorry Amanda never got the chance to dress up like a baby. I am so sorry she only got 7 Halloweens. That's not enough, not nearly enough. She should have gotten to dress up for many more years. She should have gotten the chance to grow up and watch her own children dress up.
I am so sorry she didn't.
I hope Kristin has many, many, many more Halloweens.

[myangelamanda]

I kind of am feeling bad I posted this because so many here never even had 7 Halloween's to share with their child. I really was just so sad on Halloween and needed to share.

I'm sorry none of our angels were able to trick or treat.

Thank you, girls ... just having someone understand and empathize goes a very long way. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

[jaredsmommyforever]

Milestones of any kind are hard, and holidays tend to be those kind of milestones. Halloween was really hard for me too-- when Trick-or-Treaters came to the door and they were so little and so cute, I thought about how cheated Jared was, and how cheated we all are of him every day. He was sick on his only Halloween, so he didn't get to go trick-or-treating at all. So sad that precious Amanda only got 7. There is just no good reason why that should have been. But Kristin will have so many more. And Amanda will always be with you-- maybe she was dressing up as that baby up in heaven.

Hugs, Michele.

[judiann]

((((Michele))))))

Our memories get us everytime .....

Please don't be too sad about posting.....many of you never had the chance for Halloween...some of us had more then plenty.

The memories are still there tho....the ones we will "treasure"....someday...when we can handle it.

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) & Much Love,

judiann

p.s.....the reason we stay here is for support to help us keep living thru our nightmare, to help us find the path thru our grief, to share with the Only ppl that understands our broken hearts......no one IRL "gets" it. Thats so sad for Us....

[lindac]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Michele)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Don't feel bad about being sad at what Amanda missed. We all have those triggers. My son loved Halloween and he had many. I still wish he could have had another even though he was an adult. He liked to go to a big Halloween party for adults here. I still remember fondly the last one he went to. He borrowed a slinky red knit dress from his sister and wore that with thermals sticking out under it and combat boots. I did his makeup. He had so much guts. He got on a bus and wrote downtown in that get up. He was very alternative with tats and piercings and how I wish now that I had got a picture of him that Halloween.

It makes me sad when I think about parents that aren't treasuring these memories with their kids. No one ever knows when they might be a member of this terrible club.

Sending tons of hugs.

[ourprincesschloe]

(((((Michele))))) I seriously considered not buying Ella a costume this year or buying her the most-expensive one ever because the year Chloe died, I never found the "right" Cinderella costume. It was either too costly or not pretty enough. I staggered, and she ended up wearing the same thing as the year before. I still can't believe that there was no "next year" for her to get the bestest costume ever. This journey is full of bumps along the road that remind us that the pain is still there. ((((hugs))))