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Post by christal on Mar 9, 2006 15:34:01 GMT -5
This board is where we start this journey of healing. Then, we move on to TTC and make ourselves crazy there and finally on to PAM and worry the whole time at our stay there and on to MAM the best board. I started this tread because I want to share my happy memories of my babies.
It was 5:45 p.m. and I had just came from walgreens and bought my pg. test. 2 bright pink lines. I almost fell over!! DH was sleeping, so I relaxed myself (after literally jumping around in my driveway), woke him and asked if we could go to the beach to watch the sunset (we live in Florida). We went to where we got married on the beach, and I told him there. Yay, so happy! I stayed awake for about 1wk straight (I'm shaking while telling you this). I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. I would just lay awake and dream about my babies life to be.... Nothing will ever take those happy, perfect memories from me. I had my 1st ultrasound at 7.5wks and that is when I fully lost my heart to my baby. When I saw that beautiful little heart just flickering away - the most amazing thing that I have ever seen in my life.... We all know that I don't have the fairy tale ending (yet), but that's ok. Because when I think about my memories and how happy I was and how much I love my babies and my DH, I would never change it. I would do it all again in a second. As I have said before, I would rather love and loose, then never have loved at all.
Please share your happy memories.... And peace be with you
UPDATE As you can see, my dream has came true x2. As I read through this post, I see that many of the women who posted at their worst moment, have had their dream come true also.
Dreams do come true.
This website was a saving grace for me.... thank you Clara
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Post by hard2bawoman on Mar 9, 2006 17:02:05 GMT -5
Thanks so much for this thread Christal. So often we come here to grieve and we never get to talk about the joy we felt, even if it was for only a short time. Mine was only two days, but Fridays are so happy to me now because a Friday was the happiest day of my entire life. Here's my happy memories: Brief history: DH and I had been TTC for a little more then three years. Clomid didn't work and DH was diagnosed with a veriocele (vericose vein of the testes) which we thought was our problem. I didn't ovulate regularly and he had the "issue". So we really thought we were going to be having a procedure done for him after the first of the year.
It was December. I had been on the South Beach Diet for about two weeks and I wasn't losing a thing. I knew AF was due to show her face and I just never would have thought she wasn't coming. I had what I thought was the PMS from h*ll!!!!!!!!!!! I was downright MEAN, constipated (TMI), my breast hurt so bad! Then days passed and no AF. I had plans to go out and have a girls night on Friday night so I said, let me just go ahead and take a test since by this point I was already 4 days late. I ran down to Walgreens, I had to tinkle like crazy ! I remember that vividly because I was really short with the clerk at Walgreens because she was taking too long. I bought the cheapest test I could find. I never do that. I always buy the most expensive one. So I ran home and sat on the pot. I took the test and I was telling myself "you know its negative just like every other time, lets just get this over so we can have a drink" I'm not kidding you, that's what I was thinking. I remember this all so clearly. I watched the liquid pass over the window and when I saw that positive line show up on the test I fell off the pot (pants around my ankles and moisture dripping down my leg. TMI sorry) I started bawling. I have never felt so shocked in my life. I had all these plans how I would tell DH if one day this ever happened and when it did I immediately called him and blurted it out. He had me go back to the store and get another one so this time I got the digital and I stared at the screen for 3 minutes until the word pregnant popped up. The happiness I felt, I still remember so much in my heart. I touched my tummy and cried so deeply. In that moment, I became a mommy. I was so happy. I was just so happy. Nothing has ever felt so right. I actually felt at peace, for once. That was a Friday, my favorite day of the week. By Sunday, my life was once again forever changed and Sunday has become the day that I now hate. My memories of telling friends and family, thank goodness only the closest ones, is still such a sweet one.
I'm longing to see that beautiful little plus again. I'm longing to see the word again. I just want to know what it feels like to love that way again.
Love, Jo
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Post by miss2 on Mar 9, 2006 21:06:57 GMT -5
I was just thinking how happy we were and noone ever brings up those happy memories. I gave my dd I tshirt that said I am a big sister. she didn't understand right away b/c she is a little sister( my other dd already knew) then she wore it to show grandparents. She would hug me around the waist and say I am not hugging you I am hugging the baby and she would talk to my stomach even though there really wasn't much of a stomach to talk to. Now noone even talks about those happy memories now, that makes it worse sometimes. Thanks for reminding us of those happy memories. I don't know what dh did with that t shirt I remember getting home from the hospital and handing it to him and saying get rid of this, he said we may need it again, i hope he was right.
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Post by Teardrops on Mar 9, 2006 21:54:03 GMT -5
This is so wonderful I am almost crying.....We never got to talk about the happy memories...CHRISTAL HONEY THIS IS SO GREAT...... I am a happy mom of 3. Wonderful kids and each a treasure I never planned for another baby and neither did dh...so needless to say I was shocked to be pregnant with baby #4. Wow I thought ok this is so wonderful I cant beleive it ....I'm going to be a new mommy again....I found out because I was starting a diet regimen and before I was going to take all the supplements I wanted to test....lol I was sure I wasnt so I bought the cheapest test I could find.....there I am sitting on the toilet laughing to myself and then I'm looking at this test on the sink and I'm like omg am I seeing double theres a line hot dam theres a line...lol Instantly I started to cry and I touched my stomach and I said welcome to the world little one ...you are so loved already.......I told dh instantly I stopped in the kitchen got a pickle out of the fridge and started eating it and he says wow whens the last time you had one of those and I said.....WHEN IM PREGNANT.....he didnt get it for a minute...then he starts laughing and hes like are u serious and lays his head on my stomach....he was so happy...we told the kids and my youngest started saving her pennies for the baby and my middle child put away the toys he really didnt want anymore for the baby....we were so excited....it was amazing.....I talked to my stomach every single night ...it was the last thing I thought about when I went to bed and the first thing I thought about when I would wake up...I'd sit on the bus on my way to work and touch my tummy under my coat ...I had such a special little secret that no one else could tell...I was carrying a baby.....
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Post by izzybee on Mar 9, 2006 22:24:28 GMT -5
This is great! My first pg with my twins was not planned, my second pg with my dd was some what planned, but with Ainsley we really planned her and I remember the night it happened and I remember just knowing the next day that I was pg. So I made a dr appt. about 3wk later to confirm (i didn't take a test i just knew) I remember the looks on my kids faces when we told them oh how sweet they could wait what happy times! my youngest would alway touch my belly and say I'm going to be a good big sister! and she is she alway talks about Ainsley. Thanks this has made my night! Liz
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Post by hard2bawoman on Mar 9, 2006 22:46:53 GMT -5
This thread has made me feel so WONDERFUL!! I really hope everyone takes some time and share some of the good things. It would be so nice to be able to come to this post on bad days and just think of something good. You women are wonderful and I love you so much.
Love, JO
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Post by godschild on Mar 10, 2006 15:49:21 GMT -5
Thanks for this thread, what a wonderful idea!
I found out two days before Christmas Eve...I was ecstatic. I remember being a week late, not thinking anything of it, even though we had actively been trying. Those two little lines brought so much joy to my heart. I still didn't believe it 100% and went and bought two more tests on my way to work! LOL, I took them at work, ha ha ha...My co-worker knew before my husband! She knew we were trying and I had to tell someone!! That night before dinner I asked my husband, "are you ready to be a daddy?" With a child like grin he asks, "why?" I told him, "because by this time next year, you will be!" He was so happy, nervous with the new change, but totally happy. I never felt joy like that. I had a life inside me. I would touch my belly and talk to my baby. If I could've reached down I would have been kissing my belly too!
My family and friends were so thrilled...My joy lasted 2 weeks. I can't wait to feel that excitement again. In Gods timing...
Leslie
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Post by heidi on Mar 10, 2006 17:26:35 GMT -5
We had tried for more than 5 years. I remember my dh looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He looked so proud. My daughter would pour cups of water over my belly in the bathtub to give the baby drinks. I felt alive.
Heidi
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Post by ladybug on Mar 10, 2006 21:56:48 GMT -5
Reading all your happy memories has warmed my heart and makes me want to remember the happy times too. Thank you! I found out that I was pregnant on November 1st of last year. My husband and I had been trying for a couple of months. We were stunned! So excited but realizing that life had officially changed. I can't tell you how happy I was. There were days at work that I couldn't stop smiling and wanted to do cartwheels in the hallways One of my favorite memories of my twins was when my husband started talking to my tummy one night. It was so sweet. I never want to forget that special memory. There were times when I would put my hand on my tummy in wonder that the Lord had granted me conception. Those are memories that I never want to forget. They are special memories that I had with Jedidiah and Joselyn. I am thankful that the Lord gave those to me. Thanks for letting me share with you love and prayers, Danielle
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Post by lostone on Mar 11, 2006 15:00:20 GMT -5
I thought i'd come and share my happy memories as well... Ok well i didn't know i was pregnant until i was already 2 months along and i knew something was wrong because my stomach was always hurting and i didn't know why it was...so it was on a saturday me and my b/f were suppose to go to work with my uncle but we were too tired from working the night before... so i told my b/f that i wanted to go buy a pregnancy test at the store... so we got up and got dressed and he took me... i was so excited too find out because i wanted to be pregnant but i was also a lil scared... so anyway i got out of the car went in the store and asked someone "what pregnancy test should i buy?" i told the girl that i wanted something accurate because i've never bought one before it was my first time so you know i was REALLY excited... ok so we get home and i was nervouse to take the test also excited i go into the bathroom by myself and i sit on the tiolet and im reading the directions and i do what the directions say... so i layed the test on the tub and i sat there staring at it counting down the minutes and i see a dark line going left and right and then i see a light line going up and down... so i call my mom in and she looks at it and tells me its positive and she walks out... so i call my b/f in and he sits on the tiolet and im sitting on the floor and i show him and tell him "babe im pregnant" and he just stared at me with a smile and im smiling and we're both so happy... so we go back to our room and he calls his sister and tells her and she tells me congratulations and she goes online to find out my due date and everything we were just so happy everyone was happy for us... another happy memory for me is when my b/f would lay his head on my tummy and he would do it very gently he would make sure not to put pressure on my tummy cause he was scared he would hurt the baby it was so cute and he would kiss my tummy and tell me he loves me and when we would lay together on the bed he would put his hand on my tummy and just lay there and rub it... well while he was at work he would leave in the morning i'd wake up always sick but i'd lay there and put my hand on my tummy and rub it and talk to my baby and tell my baby i love her... it was just so perfect like it wasn't real like i was dreaming i couldn't believe i had a baby inside me...we were just so happy...we were very happy for a lil over 2 1/2 months the most wonderful 2 1/2 months of my life Lisa
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Curly
Full Member
Posts: 216
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Post by Curly on Mar 12, 2006 9:44:33 GMT -5
For me I just can't share right now. I don't why I just can't ... But I want to thank you all for sharing your stories ... I'm here in tears
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Post by sunflower_baby on Mar 12, 2006 11:56:03 GMT -5
Jan.2 my DH bought an ovulation test....we had been trying for about 2 months and nothing yet well i took the test as soon as he brought it home LS short.....i looked at the test and saw 2 lines (one the same color as the other since he had bought the ANSWER ovulation test)about 1wk after the ovualtion test i bought a preg. test and kept it in the bathroom....everytime i walked in i stared at it and in my mind was like no i better not itll just say neg....whats the point......well all of a sudden it was almost time for my cycle and i kept getting hiccups all the time ....well one night i home by my self ....went to my bathroom took out the test and was like what the hey itll say neg. and i can get it off my chest right (it was jan.15) ....i took the test and washed my hands heard the phone rining and left it on the sink corner (it was my DH)he asked and i duno why to this day but he asked have you taken that preg. test??...and i thought about taking it and then hearing the phone and it sitting on the corner of the sink .....i walked back into the bathroom and saw the + line in blue(i had the e.p.t).....i told him to get home right away dropped the phone after hanging up.... the feeling i had running threw me was unbelievable i already had this sense of protection,i touched my tummy and said i love you already...when he walked threw the door i had the preg. test on the table....(i had laid it there about a 1,000 times,since i couldnt stop lookin at it) he picked it up and said theres 2 lines this time and i laughed and i said that means positive...and he says im goin to be daddy?? and i said yes he started crying and hit the floor and placed his head on my tummy and said "hello baby,we love you and begged god every night and now your here"...2 days later health dept(jan.17-preg test positive) 13 days later went to the clinic..did some test confirmed pregnancy.....same day first u/s jan.30th....u/s lady showed us the sac....where the baby was and its yolk sac....even tho it was soo small a dot on the screen it was soo hard to believe that i had life in me,it was surving because of me*soo over whelming* .....1wk later feb.6 (day before my b-day) gotta another u/s and heard the h/b i remember the smell of lavender from a lit candle in our room .....as i heard the ooush sound my heart just fell in love with someone else other than my DH....i never knew i could love and have such sercurity over someone before i heard that sweet sound ....that was the best day of my life.....ill never forget it....thanks Christal for this post!!...it reminded me of the sweet joy i once had and long for now....hopefully one day ill be granted again....
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Post by hard2bawoman on Mar 12, 2006 18:03:18 GMT -5
This is just the most wonderful post I've ever been a part of and I refuse to let it go away! I want everyone to be able to share or at least come here and read others stories and remember the goodness of what we all felt at some point. The pain is too much to bear somedays and its just nice to remember all the joy it brought us to have a little life inside of us. I can't come to this post without crying but they are all refreshing tears. It just gives me hope that my time is coming. It is coming and I will get to feel that happiness for the rest of my life when I get to stare in the face of a life that came through me.
Thank you all for your beautiful and precious memories. They are giving me so much Joy.
Jo
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Post by izzybee on Mar 12, 2006 22:10:05 GMT -5
I'm with you Jo this is the first place I go every night for a little "pick me up". Most of the time we are so stuck on the sadness that we forget about the joy! Thank you All Liz
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Post by jbagley on Mar 15, 2006 18:32:05 GMT -5
Its funny when I told DH I was pregnant we were so happy & giggly. When we had the first dr.s appt the dr told us our due date & pointed out that we must have concieved around Valentines day!!!That day Dh came home with baby clothes he saw on his way home <- hes kinda macho not his thing shopping for itty bitty clothes-- it made me see a diffrent side of him. He started acting like we were on our honeymoon again---Sooo sweet & going out of his way for his "wife" -even started calling me mommy..... Jen
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