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Post by cierrasmom on Aug 14, 2014 23:23:40 GMT -5
You would think I would be an expert on this but am not it has been 12 years since my daughter drowned this weekend my close friends 21 year old son died in a car wreck how do I help her....I had 2 years of memories she had 21 how do we relate....It has brought up all those raw feelings again. I do not sleep, eat or act right.....how do I re cope?
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Post by themissus on Sept 6, 2014 6:05:57 GMT -5
Whether you're a parent for 20 minutes or 45 years that love is still the same. That loss is still the same. If she were to downplay that BC you "only" had 2 years with your child its similar to someone downplaying a miscarriage or stillbirth. You can relate on a basic level of loss and grief. You know how deep her pain goes, because you've felt it. You know the what ifs flowing thru her mind because you've thought them. Of the potential lost in that flash of a second. Just be there for her. Tell her you're there for her. And show her. Sometimes that is all you can do, is let your friend know it's ok to break in front of you and you'll help pick the pieces back up
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Post by myangelamanda on Oct 18, 2014 18:08:44 GMT -5
((((Hugs)))) My dh and I are going thru a similar thing. Our daughter has been gone 10 years this past Oct. and his boss just lost his 28 yo daughter. We visited him after she passed and even attended the viewing and funeral. The most I could muster was a hug that lasted extra long and not much else but that hug. I guess I know there are no words ever that can "help" so I said nothing. I had major tears in my eyes but held off crying b/c I hated the criers. I smiled b/c I hated the pity look from others. I simply hugged b/c it was known in that moment of touch that I not only knew what they felt but that words were not needed. It was awful. It has set me back in my grief journey of progress. She was buried 1 week shy of Amanda's 10th year. 20 years apart in age, but years/age doesn't matter when it's a child. No parent should ever out live their child.
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