While you are being happy and carefree, I struggle every morning and evening with my joy. I feel depressed some days and some days are really good. I am not weak or not trying hard enough. I'm not really far away from God. I'm just a woman who's lived through three miscarriages and realized her body was killing her babies. My babies died b/c I don't produce enough progesterone. My babies died b/c my OB didn't think it was important to test me for any medical conditions. When I told my husband that my medical condition caused the miscarriages, I could see the grief in his eyes. Have you ever seen your husband cry from his soul? Does your 9 year old know all about miscarriage b/c he's watched mommy live through 3 of them? Is he afraid to bond w/your pregnant belly b/c he doesn't want to lose another sibling? Do your friends say, "that's why I don't announce my pregnancy until I'm 13 weeks" to you in smug arrogance? Do you want to slap their faces b/c they think they're better than you? I wish I could talk about it instead of feeling like I should get over it. I feel ashamed of talking about it and that makes me even angrier. Because I was so sick after the m/c, D&C, strep throat, Scarlet Fever, achilles tendonitis, back spasm, over 14 days, I have NEVER fully grieved the loss of my baby. I lost two children in three months. Yeah, my FB would say this and a whole lot more.
Last Edit: Apr 19, 2010 22:59:46 GMT -5 by msmarib
Happily married mother of three beautiful boys and 4 angels 11/06, 11/09, 1/10 and 5/10. God is always faithful.
Post by blackpearl on Apr 20, 2010 22:24:18 GMT -5
Aisling was pregnant for 7 weeks and told nobody, only her family. Aisling was so happy to see the test results and thought all her dreams came true, Aisling lost her baby and her boyfriend in the same weekend. Aisling is so alone and cant talk to anyone.
the best way to have a friend and family stop talking to you.. TELL THEM YOU JUST LOST YOUR BABY.. it worked for me...
why do i have to listen to 2 newborns cry everynight in my builting
why does that spiteful b---- hold her beautiful son over my exs head... why the f--- can she have the great guy and beautiful son and treat them like s--- why has that cow got everything i ever wanted.. and be soooo spiteful
why was all my happiness and dreams that came true for a short time ripped out of me..
my heart is broken and i dont think it will ever be put back together.
i not only lost my baby but have to suffer artifial menopause to kill the evil thing that killed my baby...
stop complaining that being a full time mother is so tiring.....
stop complaining you little one crys all night,, i cry all night because i have no little one, she was taken from me...
Needed to add: "So what, you gonna spend the whole day visiting other people & their babies? *insert laughter*" is NOT an appropriate comment to make to someone who has lost a child. Ever. I DONT CARE if its been almost 2 years. I DONT CARE if you think I should have gotten over it a long time ago. STFU and appreciate your beautiful son because I'd give ANYTHING to be able to hold mine right now. Bitch.
Yehp. Thats what I wish my FB could say
I also wish I had more time to take out my godson and spend time with him since his mother loves all the free time she gets with various forms of free childcare. @@
Catie & A
Godmommy to the living love of my life, O born 11/17/09
"I wouldn't be so confident announcing your pregnancy this soon - how can you be so sure everything will work out just fine??"
(I know that one is mean but honestly, it drives me nuts when women just assume that they will get a baby at the end of their pregnancy. So naive. We all know what can really happen and how it can all be ripped away in the blink of an eye.)
"I don't want to hear about how tired/sick/uncomfortable you are. Get over it. Women would kill to feel this way if only they could be pregnant!" [/quote]
Tara ~ I am SOOOO with you on this one. I wish I could post exactly this on my FB. I just had a friend announce on FB when she was 3-4 wks.......I was so envious that she could be so ignorant......I wish I was that innocent again. But I know better. Her due date is 8 days apart from mine and she's already had it posted on her wall for over a month! Unbelievable.
Jen does not care to have daily updates about how old your baby is.
Jen doesn't want to hear about your sleepless nights....I would give anything for a sleepless night that didn't involve nightmares, silence, tossing and turning, reliving the last 9 months.
Jen does not feel bad for you that you are having a hard time adjusting to motherhood. cry me a fricken river!
Jen is a mommy and all of you people who avoid me all the time SUCK........because you are uncomfortable acknowledging my girls, you pretend they never exisited. I hate you.
Jen could care less that you are tired, having morning sickness, etc. Be thankful that you are pregnant....there are many ppl who would kill to be in your shoes. (my SIL posted about how terrible her m/s was one week after I lost my girls. I wanted to kill her, seriously)
oh I could go on and on and on......
DH Greg married 5/27/06 stillborn 7/8/09 EDD 11/25/09
Post by blackpearl on Apr 21, 2010 15:20:23 GMT -5
why in gods name would you want to be stuck here alone and with a baby to take care of????????????
i would be happy to be stcuk anywhere if it ment i had my baby girl with me you idiot..............
you were only 7wks why are you still crying over it............because i had a beautiful baby girl growing inside of me and she was taken away,, how would you like it if one of your children where taken from you......
if labour was so dam long and hard for you why the h*ll are you 1 telling me about it when i am only 4wks and 2 why the f--- are you prg again??????
thanks for telling me all the worst things to expect about prg when i was only 4wks along, now i will never know for myself while yet again you are expecting for the 2nd time... tell me again why you want another baby when all you talk about is the bad stuff............ things i wanted so much to feel, i would have gone through any amount of pain to hold my baby,,, what are you crying about......
thanks for leting the world know your baby kept you up all night...... what i wouldnt give for a night like that rather than me up most of the night gettting sick from stress, crying myslef to sleep, crying when i wake up from my many nightmare.. poor you...
hang in there a few more months and all the pain will be a distant memory....... do you have any idea what the h*ll you just said...................
Tara - your comments made me smile (especially the one about your ex - thank goodness you got rid of him and are with Dan).
Here are my fb comments
Yen...is a mom to two baby boys, one who's in heaven... Yen...wants to tell the vegan chick to STFU. (I don't care that you feed your child goji berries. Stop making me feel like a terrible mom for giving him meat or eggs or cow's milk). Yen...does not care if you think that the loss of Peanut was meant for the best. That's a horseload of crap. Yen...wishes I had more time to spend on SG.
Baby Peanut Missed Miscarriage - 06 Feb 08 D&C - Valentine's Day 2008 EDD 27 Aug 08 --------------------------------------
Welcome Baby Trey!! You made us a mommy and daddy on April 5, 2009 at 10:39 am!!
Post by Miss Sunflower on Apr 22, 2010 16:05:58 GMT -5
It's what everyone wants to say, because they don't know what else to say.
Something f-ed up happens, and the first thing people do is try to fold it up nice and neat, label it as "for the best" and put it away and out of their minds. Unless they have been through it, and feel it as deeply as we do, then they don't want to hear about it, they don't want to talk about it, and they can't truly understand it. I've come to the conclusion that it is useless to expect anything more from people.
D (20) R (29) Mama to baby Poppy Rosalie lost at 5w2d on 3/9/10, expected in my arms on 11/6/10
Thank you! I was going to vent here but then this post inspired me to express my feelings on facebook and add the memorial shown in my signature to my profile. It says I miss my angel every day, which was all I wished I could post on facebook.
Sister to two angels, Eve and Luke.
Mummy to an angel, Joy.
Mummy to four furbabies, Kado, Yoki, Mary Jane and George.
"Losing you is like living in a world with no air"- No Air, Jordin Sparks
Post by lostandconfused on May 5, 2010 17:46:59 GMT -5
Tara... IS A MOTHER THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WHILE YOU ARE ALL ENJOYING BASKING IN THE GLORY OF YOUR CHILDREN, REMEMBER SOME OF US DON'T GET THAT JOY AND ONLY KNOW THE HEARTACHE OF LOSING A CHILD. AND THOSE OF US WITH LIVING CHILDREN STILL SUFFER EVERY MOTHER'S DAY CRYING FOR THE ONES WE LOST.
~Tara~ Angel-11/10/2007 15 wks of pure joy EDD May 6/2008 Gone, but never forgotten. I love you my sweet baby Angel.
i spent a lot of time, stuck in traffic, thinking of all the fun FB posts i could do once i told people i was pregnant. then, i lost the baby... i didn't have funny posts for that. now, i'd post the following:
ANicole "wishes i didn't have to go to work and hear how much these parents can't control their kids and want the state to take them"
ANicole "misses being hungry all the time"
ANicole "doesn't want to hear my baby was defective. quit saying that"
ANicole "doesn't want your sympathy. I want my baby"