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Post by halley1 on Mar 9, 2007 18:08:40 GMT -5
In Dec 2006, I was 21 weeks pregnant with my first child, a son. I couldn't of been more happy - until I had my first ultrasound. Initially they told me my son may have Trisomy 18 - a chromosone disorder which causes death. It was a whirlwind after that. I went to a specialist for a prenatal screening and an amniocentesis. The ultrasound was optimistic. I had a single artery umbilical cord (you can still have a healthy baby with this), a cyst in his brain (again, could still be healthy), and an unknown "bubble" in the placenta - but it didn't appear to be attached to the baby, so again - they weren't concerned. The baby had no physical signs of Trisomy 18. I was soooo relieved. On Jan 2, 2007 while at work, I got the call that changed my life forever. My Genetisist called and told me the amnio results came back positive for Down's Syndrome. With all the other complications, I knew it was bad. Due to the lateness in my pregnancy, I only had 2 days to decide if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. It was the hardest decision of my life. I didn't want my baby to suffer. I decided to terminate. I don't know how to describe it - it was horrific. They induced me. I was in labour for 15 hours before my son was born. He weighed just over a pound and was born live. He lived for a precious 2 1/2 hours before he died in my arms. 5 hours after the birth, I was rushed into surgery - the placenta did not detach and I lost 40% of my blood. I was discharged the same day from the hospital and went home weak and greiving. Five days after retuning home, the next hit came. My midwife called and asked us to go to her office ASAP for a teleconfernce with the Genetisist. When we got there - he told us there was error in the lab. The test was negative. Nobody (including all the medical staff I was dealing with) had ever heard of this happening before. A false amnio result. They told me there was a contamination at the lab. The baby was healthy. The weeks that followed that are a blur. All I kept thinking was " I killed my baby". Two months later autopsy results came back showing that showed he had a form of Spina Bifida. The unknown " bubble in the ultrasound, was attached to the baby's back. It still doesn't make me feel any better about the decision. I keep thinking that I would rather have an unhealthy baby, then no baby at all. It's been 3 months now, and I don't know what to do with myself. I cry every day. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I did the reseach, asked the right questions, and still made the wrong choice. And my baby isn't here because of it.
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carol
Full Member
Posts: 206
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Post by carol on Mar 10, 2007 13:01:29 GMT -5
I am so so sorry and I wish I could give you a big hug. If you need to talk feel free to pm me anytime.
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Post by mistygrl70 on Mar 10, 2007 13:09:02 GMT -5
How very horrific and traumatic for you.. I am **sooo** sorry. There are no words that I could possibly say to make this any easier.
You did what you felt you had to do .. based on the information provided to you. The mistake made was irrepable and unforgiveable..
I hope your God provides you the strenght to get through a very very difficult time.. sadly to say I would think at this point I would be seeking legal council.
I wish you much peace in the coming days. You've found a wonderful support group here.
*God bless*
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Post by mommieofaangelboy on Mar 22, 2007 16:56:39 GMT -5
I dont know what to say...I am very sorry. I am not trying to talk about myself but wanted to say i understand how grief can over take you. I wonder everyday if some medicine that the doctor told me was safe was really safe. the next day at the ultra sound no heart beat. and for weeks i wondered if she knew i loved her. i lost mine at 19 weeks i am so sorry you are in my prayers
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Post by pams on Mar 24, 2007 18:20:09 GMT -5
I don't have the words to comfort you...but please feel free to post on here and get the support you need for the loss of your precious baby. Oh my goodness...this is just so sad and I am bawling for you and your little one and what happened..
(((hugs))) and take care of yourself and please don't beat yourself up for the decision that was made. I admire you for telling your story and come back often for support.
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Post by catt on Apr 6, 2007 10:18:08 GMT -5
i'm so sorry you could not have known some of those tests are unfair to us i know a person who has spina bifida (she is 25) i think life is hard for her; her medical bills are outrageous and she needs bladder surgery I'm so sorry for your loss
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Post by Jaleel's Mommy on Apr 6, 2007 23:28:44 GMT -5
OMG sweetie I am so sorry. It wasn't your fault!!! You didn't know, no one did. You did the best thing for your son because you won't to protect him & not have him sorry. I know he's with you & watches over his mommy. Please be gentle on your self. You can pm if you ever want to talk! ~Stacey
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Post by sarah020604bryce on May 28, 2007 16:24:25 GMT -5
I am so sorry! My son had a vsd a cystic hygrom and fetal hydrops! But iw as told that he had Trisomy 18. But i decided to keep him and let him pass naturaly but that didnt get to happen at 20 weeks i got preeclampsia it was so bad that i had to induce labor! He too was born alove i dotn know howlong i was too sick to know anything! I also bleed bad they had to maunaly stop my bleeding! If you ever wanna talk i am here for you1 Its not your fault and you didnt kill your baby! I too feel that way a lot! I feel liek ti i should have waited because once i got the genetic reports back he had had the vsd! again i am sorry for your losss
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Post by mankillerrn on Jun 26, 2007 9:52:23 GMT -5
I am so sorry! I cant say if I would not have made the same decision as you, probably so. My brother has downs syndrome and I dont know if I could handle it myself. I would ask God and your baby to forgive you and in time you may forgive yourself. Maybe if you ever decide to have another baby just do ultrasounds and no genetic testing. I am so sorry that the "Lab" screwed up, I cannot imagine. Though in a way I can bc I think that the md's missed my daughters problem which led to her death. The anger I can understand and the living with yourself for decisisons made bc of information given to us by trusted professionals. My heart aches for you if you ever want to talk feel free to PM me or e-mail me. your friend in grief, vicky
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Post by heidi on Jun 28, 2007 23:24:06 GMT -5
You made the best decision you could with the information you were given, hon. You were rushed into making a decision quickly. If anything, the hospital staff was at fault. Your son knew you loved him. *big hug* What did you name him?
Heidi
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Post by ladyann on Oct 31, 2007 23:57:33 GMT -5
I am so sorry -- Your story is heartbreaking. ((((HUGS))))
Legal cousel suggested earlier maybe needed.
I will be sending you thoughts of peace and comfort. You made the choice with the information you were given -- try not to blame yourself . . .
I am so very sorry.
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Post by outtacontrol on Feb 29, 2008 12:27:41 GMT -5
sometimes we have to believe that god has a plan for us all.
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Post by AllisonInTN on Mar 20, 2008 23:37:09 GMT -5
(((Hugs)))
I can only imagine what you went through (and are still going through). Please know that you made the best decision for you and your baby based on the "expert" information you had.
I agree that you should consult legal counsel. If nothing else, the lab should be legally reprimanded for such a grievous mistake. That is unforgivable and should be exposed.
My heart and prayers are with you. Again, please know that you did the absolute best you could in that situation. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if it is unbearable at the time --- which is usually is.
More (((hugs)))
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Post by Alexis on Mar 21, 2008 17:21:36 GMT -5
very sorry to hear about your story. I would not have made the same desicion as you , regardless of how my baby was to be born. however i would definetley suggest you get cousling as far as legal counsel i would not reccomend that they did not force you to have an abortion that was your desicion. however i hope you find peace.
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Post by alyk on Mar 22, 2008 16:07:35 GMT -5
A very similar thing happened to a coworker of mine with their second pregnancy (the first resulted in a s/b). I wish I could tell you that this problem is rare, but it is much more common than one would like to admit I am very sorry for your extremely heartbreaking loss. I do understand your decision, though. It is very difficult to care for a child with special needs. A friend of mine from my childhood has a younger brother with Downs. His medical bills were quite high and their father had to take a second job to help afford them. I know this isn't much of a comfort, but you made the best decision for you based on the results you were presented. I would look into some legal representation to find out what your options may be.
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