|
Post by RachalM on Mar 25, 2007 1:54:06 GMT -5
Someone on more than on m/c posted a link where Oprah is looking for people to come on her show to discuss their story. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for you to try to get on. They are taking applications. Please please look at that posting that has the link on it. I would love to see you be the expert about this subject.
|
|
|
Post by Clara Hinton on Mar 26, 2007 15:56:02 GMT -5
Rachal,
I have been trying to reach Oprah with a message since 1995. I have written countless letters and sent numerous copies of the book, Silent Grief. I have poured my heart out on behalf of all parents dealing with child loss, but to date I have not received a comment, and I think that is because the time was not right.
I responded to Oprah's request late last night, and now I am asking my Silent Grief family to hold this up in prayer. Nothing in this world would make me happier than to be a spokesperson for parents that have gone through loss. This topic needs to be discussed, and then changes need to be made. I'm in prayer about this asking that if God wants to use me as His mouth piece, that will occur.
Thank you to my Silent Grief family for praying with me to that end (and beginning)! I think God is ready to see some of this pain lifted! What better person to help bring about change than Oprah? Again, please pray. Thank you, all.
Much love,
Clara
|
|
|
Post by lindac on Mar 26, 2007 18:54:08 GMT -5
I think it is a matter of getting past Oprah's people. There is no better spokesperson than the person who truly understands and has developed this website so that others might find comfort. Whether it gets through to Oprah or not (and in my opinion it is her loss if it doesn't) we here know that we are blessed. Each of us can do our part to help others who are on this journey. We can be a beacon on the path.
Meanwhile we can all lift our hearts in prayer that oprah may be reached and word can get out to others.
Many blessings,
|
|
|
Post by dawnn on Mar 27, 2007 13:42:48 GMT -5
Definitely holding you and your request up in prayer, Clara. I, too, could think of no better spokesperson. I, personally, would be honored to have you represent my little ones (and I KNOW that I'm not alone in saying that).
Love, Dawn
|
|
|
Post by Clara Hinton on Mar 27, 2007 14:39:20 GMT -5
Thank you so much! I might be off the wall in my thinking, but for years I have wanted to see every hospital equipped with a bereavement counselor/facilitor on hand to step in and offer help to parents who have gone through an early loss. I think Pastors and Hospital Chaplains are a little better equipped to help when an older child dies, but there is so much more that can be done to help when a miscarriage and/or stillbirth occurs.
Many, many parents still do not know what to do with the remains of a miscarried baby, and there is no guidance whatsoever. Also, I have been reading with much interest lately that things are moving way too slowly with stillbirths. Many parents are still not getting pictures of their babies, many don't know that they can take their baby home overnight to hold, snuggle, and love. And, many do not have guidance about a memorial service or burial service. We need lots and lots of education in this area.
The last of my dreams would be to see parents of miscarried babies and stillbirths be allowed time off work for "death in the family." I realize that *some* places of work are now beginning to allow for a day off, but I would like to see the same bereavement days for miscarriage and stillbirth as for any other death of an immediate family member.
This topic is a very sensitive one, and I'm praying that God will allow me to be a mouthpiece for change. I know that "we" know of the grief and pain that exists, and that it's real, but I think it's long overdue to the rest of the population to know.
It is my prayer that much good will come from Oprah's show.
Again, thank you for your prayers.
Love, Clara
|
|
|
Post by pams on Mar 27, 2007 17:09:12 GMT -5
Clara, Oh I will keep you in prayer and we will pray tonight at church about this.
I m/c my baby @ 14 weeks and the DOCTORS didn't know what to tell me what to do w/ my baby. I mean they are the doctors that you call when the office is close to find out what to do. They need educated on this matter greatly.
This was over a year ago that happened and I am just now getting the courage to do something about it. I know I am late in writing the drs office, but I figure I need to do something to keep anyone f/ going through what dh and I had to go through with being intergerated at the hospital and at home.
I really pray and hope that you will get chosen to be on Oprah to be the expert. I think that if we all do like we did to get Oprah to consider doing a show on m/c and s/b..we all just wrote her and she listened..or her people did.
And I think if we all write in to Oprah and say we have a person that UNDERSTANDS and is wanting to see changes made...it might make them stand up and listen if we all can write in to Oprah again on Clara's behalf...What do you think? I want to see you on there representing us.
|
|
|
Post by goosey731 on Mar 27, 2007 18:30:07 GMT -5
I am praying! I know when I lost Bayley, I searched all over the internet to find out what rights I had regarding claiming the remains. Finally, a compassionate nurse at the hospital talked to me and said she would make sure the paperwork was in place. And your dream of allowing women to have a day off with bereavement pay really hit home--my husband was told by his company that they "don't give bereavement pay for that." We lost our baby and they referred to it as "that"?!
I would love to have you representing us and am praying that you will be able to!
|
|
|
Post by nicoledoug on Mar 27, 2007 19:41:04 GMT -5
Clara I hope and pray that you will be chosen for the Oprah show....if it wasn't for this site I don't know how I would be today. I totally agree Bereavement pay/days NEED to be given for stillbirth/miscarriage...my dh was also told "We don't allow time off for THAT"...now what exactly would "THAT" be? This women was pg when she told my dh this! Ok, now back to the topic at hand...PLEASE everyone pray that Clara gets this once in a life time chance
|
|
|
Post by pams on Mar 27, 2007 23:52:16 GMT -5
I emailed Oprah on Clara's behalf and asked that she be the "expert" and gave them her email addy posted on this site.
|
|
|
Post by Clara Hinton on Mar 28, 2007 13:32:43 GMT -5
Girls,
Thank you so much for the prayers. I have many of my family and friends in prayer about this, also. Plus, I'm counting on God to intervene on our behalf. He knows my heart, my motives, and my love for all of you, as well as my passion for seeing changes come about for easing the pain of losing a baby. That's why we have SilentGrief.com.
Let's remain in prayer. I feel right now that we can each email Oprah (which I did many, many times over, and I did again since this topic has been posted), and we can pray. Once we do those two things, then I truly believe we should wait knowing that God will see that our prayers are answered in His way and with His timing. God never makes mistakes. I trust Him to use this opportunity as a best possible means to bring about much-needed change.
My special love to all,
Clara
|
|
|
Post by wuvmyangel93 on Mar 28, 2007 18:50:46 GMT -5
prayers being said.
I know with my son who died in 93, I was not allowed to hold him at the funeral parlor. I brought a different hat for him to wear and I wasn't even allowed to change that. I couldn't unwrapped his blanket and take good pictures of him in his outfit and they didn't offer pictures either.
I had 3 pictures left on my camera, only had enough money to purchase the new better hat for him and that was it.
I only wish I had more pictures of him.
The memorial books they did were standard and didn't fit for little babies. The only coffins for his size were either the inferior stucco type that was affordable or the outrageous $2,000 one.
It is sad how they gouge parents and offer NO help. My parents had to do a 2nd mortage on their home in order to pay the funeral costs. The funeral parlor would not bury my son without the coffin and their fees paid in full and eventhough it was only $625 it was a huge unexpected expense for all of us.
I learned less than a year later being his father was a catholic he could have been buried in any catholic cemetary with a free tombstone for free.
This is something all parents should be told.
All parents should also know that social security will give up to $225 in death benefits, social services will help with service costs, a child of a veteran can sometimes qualify for burial and tombstone benefits.
And the biggest thing for any parent to know you don't have to purchase the tombstone from the funeral home or cemetary you can buy wholesale for a ton less. Quiring monuments is one of the best for this.
And it is nice now to know you can even buy the casket wholesale.
The other myth is you have to bury someone within 3 days if not embalmed that is totally false.
And it is against the law if they do an autopsy to remove and keep any of your child's body parts, but its a hard lawsuit for someone to get a lawyer to take.
|
|
|
Post by mommy2five on Mar 28, 2007 21:15:29 GMT -5
Clara, Many prayers being said that Oprah picks you for her show. I have already emailed her show with your name and this site address, but would be more than happy to email again! Because I joined SG after my m/c but before my stillbirth, there were some things that I knew to do, but too many that I didn't know about. When the hospital gave us the options of what to do with Lily after she was born, I couldn't even think after the nurse said that the hospital could *dispose* of her for us. What??? We chose not to hold a funeral as my Mother's youngest brother was being taken off life support the same week and we felt it was too much, but we did have Lily cremated and her remains are with us always. I didn't even know it was an option for us to take home the baby we m/c until I read this and it was just recently that I found out that we could have taken Lily home. We did not want our dd to see Lily in that cold hospital setting, but bringing her home would have given us a chance to spend time with her as a family, take pictures, bathe her, dress her, all the things that we missed out on. I would love to see you on Oprah, raising awareness for an issue that is so often *taboo*. I will continue to pray that you are asked to speak on her show.
|
|
|
Post by Clara Hinton on Apr 1, 2007 22:35:53 GMT -5
Dear SG Family,
The more I read about what is still happening, the more convinced I am that there is a need for change--right NOW! Things such as the funeral expense, where and how to bury a baby, the options about taking a baby home with you.................all of these things need to be made standard procedure and public knowledge so that ALL parents are aware of their rights upon the death of their miscarried or stillborn baby.
Please continue to pray and to contact Oprah, and I am doing the same. I would feel honored by God to have the privilege of being used in this way--to speak out for my SG family AND to see these changes made.
Let's keep praying and asking Oprah. I'm so sorry for all of the added pain so many of you have experienced. It is my most sincere prayer that together we can be one voice and change some of this things!
Love, Clara
|
|
|
Post by Rose on Apr 3, 2007 21:17:51 GMT -5
I have the letters for Oprah's people. I never found out where to send them. NO one could give me answers. I'm tempted to email them all to her web site.
|
|
|
Post by pams on Apr 4, 2007 8:45:32 GMT -5
Rose, That is what you have to do is email them and you only have 2,000 characters to use up..how can you tell some of our journey's in that amount of space?' I think they are more apt to read f/ an email submitted for that show..not sure though. But if you want to send the letters I am sure on her website there is a malling address.
|
|