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Post by capturedbutterfly on May 18, 2012 16:22:09 GMT -5
As a mum who sadly suffered a miscarriage back in 2009 i found writing poetry helped alot in the healing stage..i'd like to share this..
How do you love a person who never got to be, or try to envision a face you never got to see. How do you mourn the death of one, Who never got to live? When there's nothing to feel good about and nothing to forgive? I love you, my little baby, my companion of the night. Wandering through my lonely hours, beautiful and bright. What does it mean to die before you ever were born? To live the lovely night of life and never see the dawn? My little baby! You lived like anyone! Life's a burst of joyand pain and then like yours it's done. I love you, my little baby! Just as if you'd lived for years No more, no less i think of you The angel of my tears.
i hope this helps.
I also want to recommend a read, "I never held you by Ellen M. DuBois" No matter how long aho your loss was, it helps, trust me
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Post by rlchawaii on Aug 4, 2012 3:03:49 GMT -5
My happy memories are mixed amongst challenging ones. DH and i had just started ttc, and he was home for a short time before leaving for a six month deployment on a submarine. I peed on the stick 6 days after he left, while my DD played in the other room, and was so happy to see 2 lines! I left the next day to visit family, and kept it quiet until his first port call. He called me via facetime, and my mom was sitting right there, so i went to the bathroom. Watching his face closely, i put my finger to my lips in a "ssshhhh" gesture, then lowered the phone so he could see my hand rubbing my belly. He looked confused for a moment, then said "really!?" I nodded, and he chuckled once then broke into one of the hugest smiles i have seen in a long time. I emailed him soon after asking about the names Jack or Emily, depending on boy or girl.
Just a few weeks later i started spotting, and had a close friend who is an u/s tech scan me. Unfortunately i had lost a baby, but there was another one still there and doing well. I absorbed everything i could about that baby. The next day while listening to my DD play, i realized that for the past several weeks her play with various combinations of imaginary brothers and sisters had become consistently one brother and one sister. I realized then that the fraternal twins i conceived must have been a boy and a girl. My friend performed another u/s a week later, and the remaining baby still looked perfect. I got to see how my baby had grown in that week, and saw that the placenta had continued to develop, and that the umbilical cord was growing. My baby had leg buds and heartbeat of 170 bpm. She was in the "gummy bear" stage. We did the u/s on my moms couch with my mom and MIL there to see the baby as well. It was wonderful. I made copies of the u/s pictures on my moms copier and sent them in the mail to my husband, labeling the different parts by drawing lines pointing to them. He wouldnt receive them till the next port call.
Of course this story, like so many others, ends badly. I miscarried baby 1 at 7w, and learned at 10w at my first OB appt that baby 2 no longer has a heartbeat. I had a d&c 3 days later (yesterday). My husband has no idea any of these events have occurred. I will have to tell him soon at their next port call.
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Post by jacquelynmarie on Aug 23, 2012 13:49:42 GMT -5
we found our we were pregnant when I was 4wks I had told my husband that he had got me pregnant on July 6th from the previous day (sorry if tmi) we laughed and it was a joke but on Aug 1st my god daughter was born and we went to see her I told her that seeing her makes me want a baby and soon. That night we went to the dollar store (cheap I know) and got a pregnancy test. We came home and I had to use the restroom so bad and since there was 2 stick I used one I was so surprised to see the two pink lines cause we have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years, I didnt get to excited until I took one the next morning I had so many different emotions i didnt know what to think. My husband was glowing i had never seen him like that. We ended up going to the er that following Saturday due to me having cramping. Dr said to just relax and take it easy. that weekend we went to Austin (we are in San Antonio,tx) to tell his parents and I made sure I relaxed all day and did almost nothing but use the restroom. The following weekend I was in the er Aug 11th I had started bleed dr told me everything seems to be good and to come back in 3 days to get my levels check. The following day Aug 12 we went back to the er to confirm that we did indeed have a miscarriage sadly. But we have hope and faith next time we get pregnant things will work out for the best.
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Post by bebeb83 on Dec 13, 2014 8:40:43 GMT -5
This post inspired me to make a list of the good things that I learned and experienced in the 9 brief weeks I was pregnant before being told I would miscarry. I haven't started to naturally miscarry yet but am waiting for it to begin - thinking about the positives of the experience has really helped to ease the shock, grief and fear I've been feeling - so thank you all so much.
I learned a lot of good things about my body and my health, but the most profound has been to confirm my husband's ability to love unconditionally and to be supportive even in the face of his own grief and confusion. I know for certain now after this test that no matter what, he's here ready to help with his unending optimism and thoughtfulness.
I also learned how loving and supportive my family and friends could be. They accepted our baby immediately as one of the family and said things like, I love him/her and she's not even here yet. I can't wait to meet her.
I've found so much comfort in thinking about these things - if you haven't already it can help to sit down and just write a list of all the good things.
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